Sermons of Rebuke: VaYeshev and PreChanukah

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
The preChanukah Party will happen this Monday. We will celebrate preChanukah with Latkes and Dreidel playing. Due to the popular request of Katie, we will celebrate Chanukah before Chanukah.
 
The shul is going to be selling Chanukah candles that work. They will not break on you.
 
We ask everybody pay their dues before Chanukah so we can turn the water back on and celebrate Chanukah before Chanukah.
 
The shul Chanukah vacation this year will be the week after Chanukah. This year the vacation will be in the Miami-Fort Lauderdale-Boca area.
 
Contemporary Halacha Classes: How to Turn Every Jewish Ritual into a Program By Not Doing it At it Right. How to make Not Oily Latkes Nobody Likes, Because There Was No Miracle of Oil Before Chanukah. Where to Vacation: A Session on Places to Go in Miami, Fort Lauderdale and Boca.

Rabbi Mendelchem's Drasha Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Pupils...
They hate Yosef. When they hate you. they hold that... They hate him because they’re not happy with themselves. Kind of like the board who hates any good idea you share with them. Like doing a Chanukah party on Chanukah... Kind of like most of our congregants who can't stand Simcha, who likes to share his dreams all the time. It can be annoying, Simcha. It's annoying hearing every detail, and then hearing, "And then I woke up." We know you woke up...

(Bereishit 37:24) The brothers take Yosef and they throw him in a pit, “and the pit is empty, there is no water.” Kind of like the Bergstein Bar Mitzvah where there was no schnapps. You asked for it, you flipped the bottle over. Tapped it. Nothing in there. And they still expected you to give the kid a gift... This is why people hate the Bergsteins... I'm not suggesting to throw Simcha in a pit.

Rashi, answering the question “why does it need to say no water when it is already empty,” tells us that there were snakes and scorpions.
There was no water. No life. When you lose the love of family, there is no life. Then there is no connection and hate, there is no life. Just snakes and scorpions, like the board...

What’s saves Yosef’s life? Connection. Their hate would’ve killed him. But they realized he has the same blood. I believe O+. (Bereishit 37:27) Yehudah says “let us sell him to the Yishmaelim, and let not our hand be on him, for he is our brother, our flesh...” You don’t kill your own flesh. You sell them as slaves...
This is why the mothers at this shul slave in the kitchen. And the fathers talk in shul...

There’s a lot of hate here... Bernie deserves it.

And now the shul is left with messed up emptiness. Emptiness and some people trying to make it bad for everybody. Snakes. Stealing the meaning from everything we do. Ruining the joy and love of Yiddishkeit...

The preChanukah party sounds like a Chanukah party. But it's not a Chanukah party... Because it's not on Chanukah. If it was on Chanukah, you would call it a Chanukah party...
I understand you want to prepare for the holiday. You do that by buying the stuff you need for Latkes, and a Dreidel... No. You’re celebrating it the day before Chanukah... What makes it more exciting?... Thank you. So. Before Chanukah, it’s a program. People don’t like tradition anymore. They don’t like Mitzvot. They like programs...

People rightfully hate the Chanukah candles... They’re not Chanukah candles if they don’t break. Those are Shabbis candles. You're using Shabbis candles on Chanukah. The shul fundraiser is to sell Shabbat candles for Chanukah...
It's like your programs. Done at the wrong time. Might as well do Sukkot Matzah. People love the Sukkot Matzah that tastes just like bread. Thursday night choolante night... I don't care if they do it in Monsey. This is Topeka. People don't even know what choolante is here. More people would come to the program if it was Thursday night overcooked stew night...
Everything you do shows no love for our tradition. A hatred for our people.

The shul water is off because of hatred. People hate paying dues. And this is why the sink has no water. It's empty...

You can’t even do a Chanukah vacation right... After Chanukah is not a Chanukah vacation. Its winter vacation... You like it more because a Chanukah vacation on Chanukah is tradition. After Chanukah it’s more of a program. More fun...
Isn't the vacation always to South Florida?... Just making sure. Then I am going to Orlando this year... Our activities committee is calling it a program.
It's not a program. People are going on vacation. If it's not organized by the shul and it's not a tradition, it's not a program...

We should all find the love back in our lives, so we can end the hate and get the water turned back on in the shul. So that we can vacation without having to see each other...

I hate your preChanukah Chanukah... It's not Chanukah. If you put a "pre" before something, it's not that. "Pre" means not the right time.
No. PreChanukah is not Chanukah. You can’t light for Chanukah preChanukah.
I know many have started eating choolante on Thursday night. It’s still not Shabbat...
I hate doing Jewish tradition done as a program. I will hold that hate.
I love this shul. So I will not destroy it. But I will do whatever I can to get rid of the programs. I will bring snakes and scorpions if I must... Serpents sounds better. Serpents are scarier. Serpents and scorpions. Even worse. I will add more people to the board...

We pray that the kids learn to like the Bergstein boy, and not blame him for his parents not having schnapps...
Maybe come to shul, not like your dad, and people will like you. They'll see you as Jewish flesh. Connected...

Rivka's Rundown
The rabbi truly connected with the Bergstein boy. He spat on his parents and sat in a different section of shul. I think the rabbi just said people who don't come to shul are not Jewish flesh. And I think the Bergstein boy does not like his family.
We can all agree that going to a Bar Mitzvah and getting nothing to drink, then having to give a gift, causes hatred.

Beautiful teachings. The board is full of snakes. Poetic. The rabbi was making a strong point saying that you sell your brothers as slaves.

The board decided to have the CHanukah Party not on Chanukah, because of Katie. Whatever Katie wants, Gd apparently does. Katie wants Purim in the fall, the shul decided to host a drinking party in October.
Our shul has decided to now only run programs. People show up for programs. On Sukkot people didn’t show for Musaf. They came for Hookah in The Sukkah. They then ran a Musaf program, where a Chazin leads in the Musaf prayer. Finally, people came for Musaf.

That was a fundraiser. To sell Shabbis candles for a lot more than they’re worth. It went great with the preChanukah program. People spend more when they get stuff they're using for the wrong reasons.
The rabbi insisted it would've been a Chanukah miracle if they were Chanukah candles that didn't break.

The shul got the water turned off. We need money. I think that is the true lesson of the Parsha. Money saves lives. It saved Yosef's life when the Yishmaelim bought him, and it allows for us to have Kiddish.

Many people were mad with the rabbi for suggestion that going to South Florida in the winter is a not a Jewish tradition.
The vacation to Miami-Fort Lauderdale-Boca was to Fort Lauderdale and Miami, and Boca last year too. It seems to be the same vacation every year. It's where the Jews go to get away from Jews.
They love programs. Even their vacations are now programs. It just happens to be when everybody goes to Florida. And they all go. So the shul is taking credit for the program.
The rabbi found a way to take advantage of this new program thing the board is pushing. The rabbi heads down to South Florida for a day, takes a picture with a couple members, says it a shul program, and he calls it work. No vacation days used on his vacation.