Sermons of Rebuke V: Shemot

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
We celebrate with our Venezuelan congregants. We pray that you can leave and go back to Venezuela. You haven’t paid dues since you’ve been here. 

Golf on Sunday of your son’s Bris. That is wrong. Even if it’s nice out. 
The rabbi has put out a Psak: The first eight days after your child is born, you have to help your wife. Other than that, it is probably best you're not in the house.

We ask our Balei Tefilah to Daven faster. Some people have to get to work. It has been reported that the congregants don’t appreciate singing on a Tuesday.

Please focus on Davening and not wishing every single person a Yashkoyach. We support greeting people. We don’t feel everybody needs affirmation for being great at walking up for an Aliyah.

Contemporary Halacha Classes: How Our Shul Did Nothing for the Venezuelan People in Halacha. How to Raise Children with Abandonment Issues and Very Bad Golfers. Davening Class Will Take Place on Tuesday. How to Talk in Shul and Wish Every Single Person a Congratulations with A Conversation That Bothers People Who Are Trying to Pray- Class Given by the Back Left of The Men's Section.

Rabbi Mendelchem's Drasha Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Pupils...
(Shemot 3:3) Moshe says, "Let me turn now and see this great spectacle why the bush doesn’t burn?" 
It was a burning bush. First time you see the burning bush, it's a surprise. You've got to see the spectacle.... A burning bush that doesn't burn is spectacle. It's a burning bush but not burning... You have never seen a burning bush not burn. Stop Bernie... You turn if the burning bush is burning too. You put out the fire. Point is, you turn when you see a bush burning...
Moshe turned to it. He recognized it. He gave it time.

Later on, Moshe is used to it. He sees all the miracles. But now, he’s not letting it pass... He’s used to seeing seas split. Staff snakes. A Frog in toast is a regular occurrence...
(Shemot 3:5) That place of the miracle is holy. Don't let it pass. Turn to it. There is a reason for the spectacles in this world...
The miracle places in our life is holy. Celebrate them. When I got away from this shul last Shabbat, I celebrated that place. It was a miracle to not be with you...

Gd saw that Moshe looked, and that is when He called to him. If you don’t look. If you don't take note, there will be no holiness. If you don’t see how messed up this shul is, we won’t progress. We will not witness redemption. We will always have committees...
What great things have happened?! Nothing. Nothing at any board meeting at this shul. Nothing with the shul renovations. Nothing with our sisterhood. But we still note it all. We take minutes...

We've seen some crazy stuff in this shul. But have we given it time?... Not miracles. Spectacles. Talya pulling Allison’s hair. The wrapper on the floor. Still there. Going on three weeks. The renovation committee and the new elephant mural. Life-size?!
It's because we don't turn that there is no holiness here.
Let’s turn and give time. Let the crazy not be regular... Miracles should remain holy to us. Like when the board doesn’t mess up...

We don’t have one Venezuelan congregant. They're Argentinian. It's a miracle that our office staff doesn't understand that there is more than one country in the Southern Hemisphere. If they would turn to a map...  
I hope I don’t offend anybody by supporting the overtaking of the regime.
We support all of our congregants moving to Venezuela. None of you pay your dues... It's amazing how the Argentinians lasted so long without supporting the congregation. Almost as long as our locals, who grew up here, who haven't paid dues for around forty-five years....
We will never witness the miracle of the shul raising money, if people don't turn to dues.

It's about turning and facing what is important. What Gd puts there... H' put a family in front of you, Eric. Maybe focus on the family and not golf... What are you going to do with golf? Feel good. Who needs that?!...
I understand the weather was nice. You could've seen the nice weather with your baby... H’ didn’t tell Moshe, “You saw the bush burning. That's cool. Want to go for eighteen?”
Did you see your son’s Bris?! Did you turn to it?!... I understand. The proper thing was to turn away...

Davening is going crazy long. That is just a curse. A curse and a miracle that people still end up coming to shul.
Who sings on a Tuesday... Shabbat is different. You're allowed to have sermons too. Do I give sermons on Tuesdays?! No!!!
People work. And some play golf. And none pay dues... I can't turn to congregants during the week. I do not want to see them. I see them on Shabbis...

Part of the problem is the Yashkoyachs. The most Yashkoyach oriented shul. I've never seen people so focused on Yashkoyachs.
The guy did nothing. He walked up to the Bima and walked down. And you're congratulating him. It’s like a miracle he didn’t mess up the Aliyah... He didn't read the Torah. He just said the Bracha... No. He shouldn't be taking credit. He should be coming down from the Bima and apologizing for not putting in any effort. For not going over the Parsha...
Greet people. How about welcoming people. You're a depressed bunch. You don’t say Hi to people. I turn to you and I get depressed. That's why I now have my seat facing the ark... But when they come down from walking up to the Bima, it’s like a bro party.
You need that communal affirmation. You are the most fragile congregants. Got Mark asking everybody, “Did I pull the string right?!” No, Mark. You didn't. Not the first time. It took you three pulls and there are only two directions. And you still got a Yashkoyach...
You turn and you recognize how little these congregants do. And then you give Yashkoyachs on Tuesday...

You're a Gabai. You call up people. And then you get a Yashkoyach announcement. The Bal Koreh didn’t even get a Yashkoyach. He reads the Torah and doesn't even get a Yashkoyach. Let alone an announcement Yashkoyach. And this guy gets Mark and Pinchas' names right and he's a champ. It’s pathetic...
The Gabai even made mistakes with his Hebrew.
The Bal Koreh prepared. You just got up there... I understand, Yashkoyachs... Why did you stroke his ego for reading Hebrew with mistakes.
I turn and I see pathetic.
And great job playing golf. Well. Yashkoyach.

Note it. Wish people a Yashkoyach. Just don’t make it a whole spectacle... It’s an Aliyah. It’s not a burning bush. Calm the Gehenim down...

You turn. You bring yourself close to the miracle. You get the calling to mess up the shul...
It can only be done with humility.
(Shemot 3:19) When Gd tells Moshe to be the one to take the Jews of out Mitzrayim, Moshe says, “Who am I that I should go to Paroh, and that I should take my nation, Bnei Yisrael, out of Mitzrayim...” You’re just trying to get out of helping.
Shlomo. You have not helped in years. You didn't even volunteer for shul security... You're in bad enough shape to do it...

You first recognize the place is holy. And then, you don’t do anything... Otherwise you mess up the shul. Did Gd tell you to Daven real slow? To keep people from going to work??? Did He tell you to wish everybody a Yashkoyach.? Did Gd tell the board to make any decision?... No. Gd told the board to listen to the rabbi... Don’t take off your shoes. In shul, we don’t take off our shoes. That’s why we have a Torah SheBal Peh.
I think Gd said something about getting rid of Maduro... Well, the Venezuelans did. Maybe Venezuela is holy to Venezuelans... That’s a different burning bush.

Give the recognition to holiness. But don't belittle that holy place. Don't wish everybody a Yashkoyach. You belittle the Anim Zemirot kid who reads the Tana Dvei Eliyahu stuff in full.
Redemption is born in our recognition of Gd. The miracles... That, and you all crying all the time. And you being humble enough to recognize you are not helpful...

You have to see your calling, recognize it, and do it with humility. And circumcise your child. And Eric. You're not good at golf...

Rivka's Rundown
That took a while to educate our congregation on the importance of turning when you see a fire, and not ignoring it. 
During the week, the rabbi thought it was important to bring in a firefighter to go over fire safety. To quote, "Maybe our very out of shape volunteers will be better at putting out a fire than working security."

After Davening and complaining about the length of services, the rabbi made it clear, “It’s a miracle we got out of shul today.”
Yitzchak noted, “The rabbi’s sermon was so long.”

I don’t think our congregants see anything. There’s been a lollipop wrapper in the middle of the hallway for three weeks. They’ve all passed it. Not one of them has turned to it and picked it up.
The rabbi’s message is that you can’t do anything unless you turn. But our congregants are too out of shape to turn. That’s why they can’t do security either.

Bernie wouldn’t stop talking about his burning bush. He was convinced he saw a burning bush not burn. It turns out that he has no idea how to get a fire started. Last shul camping trip, he said he got the bonfire started. When we got there, we saw nothing. He said it was a miracle, and that it was a burning bush and it wasn't burning. Now, he thinks he's holy, because he has no survival abilities.
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Our board and office consider everybody who is not born in Topeka to be South American. That’s it. South American. And if you're South American that means you're from Venezuela, El Salvador, Argentina, Chile, and Mexico. And they think that it's called Chile because, as they said, "The peppers are from South America." And that's our congregational understanding of the map, and dictators.

I think people start paying dues at sixty. Before that, Tzedakah doesn't exist.

The golf focus is a little much. And then they gave him a Yashkoyach for playing golf. Even at the Bris they're wishing Yashkoyachs. Not Mazel Tovs.
I've got Yashkoyach fatigue.
You have to help your wife sometimes. That is the rabbi's Psak. Rabbinic declaration. He declared this is the Halacha. The men have to help when there is a huge lifechanging family event, like having a child. They don't have to help more than once a year. He didn't even declare they had to help with holidays. He just figured that if the wife is recovering from bringing a child into the world, the husband should not leave the house for four hours to hang with his buddies.

This guy is meditating on a Tuesday?! Took just as long as Monday Davening. No Layning, and we're still there for upwards of forty minutes, on a Tuesday. Who meditates on a Tuesday?! It’s not even hump day, and he’s sleeping on the job.

I like the Yashkoyachs. It’s very communal. I wanted to make that clear. I just feel there is proper use. We shouldn't abuse Yashkoyachs.
And some do mess up pulling the string. Some try to open the curtains without the string. They pull the curtain straight. That's how you know they’ve never been to shul. And they still get a Yashkoyach.
He messed up pulling the string, and people got up, wished a Yashkoyach, and cheered. It was a like a support group for people with shul disabilities. Shul-capable people.

Our shul is full of Shul-capable people. Youth group-capable, sisterhood-capable, Gabai-capable, Bal Tefilah-capable. It's a special Davening.
It was pathetic last week when the guy got congratulated for doing a great job at calling up people to the Torah.
That was kind of weird. The Bal Koreh who prepared for twenty hours gets nothing. This guy that showed up to shul late and calls up a guy to the Torah, the president starts giving Mazel Tovs to. And then, the president, not knowing if he said the right thing, wished him Yashkoyachs.
Fact is they've belittled Yashkoyachs. I walked in on Tuesday morning. Not one "good morning." Just Yashkoyachs. Now Yashkoyach means have a good day too.

Davening class on Tuesday brought some protests from the normal people who said, "It's Tuesday. Who does a class on Tuesday."