Sermons of Rebuke IV: VaYishlach

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
Our guest speaker this week is Phil. He’s a member of this congregation and he will be giving the sermon about how his kids don’t call unless he's sick, to find out if he’s dying.
 
The planning meeting for how we’re going to attack the mice in the shul is this Sunday. Bella suggested weapons. We are going to stay away from military grade. Last time military weapons were used against mice, we ended up having to do a full demolition of the shul.
We are offering congregants shielding gear due to fear of little things.
 
The Simcha for the Feldblums this Shabbis gives us all hope that their son will not be like them. He should have a beautiful family with children that respect and appreciate shul.
 
Kiddish club is planning a party, where they will be drinking more. Less than at Kiddish club, as the party will not be before Musaf and the Kiddish club members don't need to drink as much when they're not Davening.
 
Contemporary Halacha Classes: How to Get Your Children to Call Even if They Know They're in the Will Already. How to Attack a Mouse on Shabbat Without Scaring a Whole Shul. How to Show Love Not Like The Feldblums. Kiddish Club and How They Found a Way to Drink More On Work Night.

Rabbi Mendelchem's Drasha Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Pupils...
Like Yaakov, I planned for a fight against the board... No. I didn’t give them any gifts. I have no money for gifts because they haven’t given me a raise....
Yes. That’s the reason for the law of not eating the hop sinew. Yaakov injured his hip fighting with the angel (Bereishit 32:32-33)... Yaakov had sciatica. The whole back left of the men’s section has had sciatica. You want to eat it???
I injured any chances of making a decent living fighting with the board... Great speech Phil. You can sit...

(Bereishit 33:1-3) Yaakov sees Esav with four hundred men. He splits up the camp. Goes in front of them and bows to his brother seven times... I have to give the background because you all talk during the Layning... Seven was the number in those days. Bowed seven times...
(33:4) “And Esav ran to greet him and he hugged him, and he fell on his neck and kissed him and they wept....” After seeing this, Esav runs to his brother.  I don't think I even saw the Feldblum kids hug. I think they just shook hands and said, "Good to see you too."

Love is always there, somewhere, when you're not dealing with a board. You have to take the first steps. You have to bow the seven times... Without bowing. It’s Asur to prostrate to people. A bunch of Apikorsim. You bow to H'.
So Yaakov bowed to his brother... His brother wasn't an idol. And I will never bow to the board...

Rashi teaches that Esav’s compassion was aroused by the prostrations. You see. Prostrations. Now bows. His compassion was found through the prostrations. Through Yaakov's show of deference. Sometimes you need to give in a bit. Let the other know that you are there for love, and they will return that. Unless if it's Phil's kids... Or the board.

Esav had all that love inside of him. He showed it. And you can’t even greet your rabbi with a decent "Shabbat Shalom." A handshake. You shake hands like a Mensch... Your handshaking is off. It makes nobody want to hug you or kiss you. When they shake your hand, they do not want to cry. No emotion.
Now Merv. You shake Merv and Mr. Greenberg's hands, you feel emotion. You want to cry. They squeeze your hand. Like a vice. They clench your hand with the jaws of their fingers. You feel that...
You are so not giving. So unkind. Everything with you is a fight. I get sciatica just listening to the congregants. The handshakes in this shul give me sciatica...
I'm talking about love. About finding love through peace. You do that through being kind and compassionate. It might come back to you...
You don’t even welcome guests...

Beautiful speech Phil. The way you were able to give a sermon with no Torah...

You plan for kindness. If that doesn't work, you have to be ready to fight. We have been kind enough to the mice of the shul for many years. Food all over the floor. The children of our congregation have not cleaned up after themselves...
We have to plan how to attack the mice. Gifts. We tried giving them cheese and peanut butter, they ate it. They took it right out of the mousetraps. I feel like the traps are food trays for feeding mice.
Splitting up the camp, we had different traps...
We tried. It's all out war. You already won the environment discussion. We have recycling in the shul. We are going to kill the mice. Straight out war. We've got to come in strong... We did it all. We fought. We sprayed everywhere. We even used poison. Nothing has worked yet. We need to come out stronger. Hit them from all sides...
You're more scared of mice than Gd.
And now we have a secretary who adopted a mouse as a pet... I am saying we also have to show love to people, so that some people will want to join our shul...
If people come to our shul and we hug and kiss them, and cry on them. They'll feel loved and they'll want to be congregants...

Dr. and Dr. Feldblum, you prepared your son correctly. He’s learning in Yeshiva. He is kind. He’s a good athlete. He is nothing like his parents. You did a good job. But you need more love...
Your Simcha has no affect. No love. Not even a Yasherkoych when cousin Ralph came down from the Aliyah. Nobody even tried to whip candies at the Chatan. You tossed them.
No emotion involved in your family. No love. Esav has more love than your family.
If one of your family members wanted to kill another, they would do it...

R’ Hirsch teaches that Esav wept genuinely, as crying can only come from one that is moved. Even Esav had the ability for compassion. The human ability we all have when he is moved. Your grandma isn’t even crying. Not moved by her grandson getting married. The Chatan's grandma is just sitting there like her whole face is full of Botox... Well. Then that is the reason...
The only one crying is the guy that came back drunk from the Kiddish club...

What is the Kiddish Club Party? Is it just you drinking more?... It's a weeknight. You have to go to work the next morning. It's drinking more on a weeknight.
Talking about the Kiddish club because they're not here. They're still out drinking. Pregaming Musaf...
Phil. You already talked. Now you're interrupting. You already let everybody know you get no love from your family, even though they're not the Feldblums. We get it.
A true party is when there is the joining of sides. The joining of enemies in love and embrace. Reuniting... The Kiddish club has not reunited with Mickey in years. Let him back into the Kiddish club. I don’t want to see him in the shul for the sermons...
A decent handshake for crying out loud. That's a party...

Will the Chatan come up here...
To love is to want to kill... Embrace your wife, not like your family embraced you.
Kiss her. Hug her. Cry on her. If you don't cry on your spouse, is it really a relationship...

Rivka's Rundown
"To love is to want to kill" is a very strong statement. I believe the rabbi was trying to say that he doesn't love the board, so they shouldn't worry.

I agree with the rabbi that we need more emotion in the shul. More sisterhood fighting.
The rabbi truly went off on the lack of passion behind handshakes and why there is much hatred in the shul because of it. His message: If people shook hands harder, families would be together. To quote, "Families that shake together, stay together." The rabbi just makes it all so meaningful.
After the sermon everybody shook hands. It was an emotional moment for all. Women were standing up, shaking each other's hands and hugging.

The rabbi asked a congregant to speak. He didn’t want to try anymore. And then, once he heard Phil speaking, he got up, kicked Phil off and still gave his sermon. Truth is everybody loved Phil’s sermon. The no Torah added to the message truly made everybody feel more connected.
The rabbi just kicked Phil off, and took over the sermon. He heard enough about people not calling. The rabbi was worried the congregants would start to think that the rabbi would want to get phone calls from them.

The rabbi planned for the war. I had mice in my house. I used his plan and killed four mice.
People heard there was a mouse and they didn't show up to shul for a month. They figured that would be their excuse this year, as there hasn't been much snow yet.
It all started last week when Bella yelled, "Mouse!!!!" Everybody ran and there was no Minyin.
The Filermans aren't coming back. It's amazing how you can't lose the reputation of having a mouse. Every house gets mice during the fall, but when people hear about it, you're branded. Our shul has been branded and the rabbi is happy.

I was for the friendliness and the new hello thing, until Merv kissed me, cried on me, and the chuched his phlegm all over me. I think we need younger men, who won't hock a loogie on the guests, welcoming people.

The Feldblums took such Nachis knowing their son is not like them and won’t eat in their home.
I don't know if they love each other. I don't even think there was one real smile the whole Simcha. After the Chupah, the dad shook his son's hand. The rabbi noted, "At least it was a solid handshake. It's a start."
The family might be mad that another member, this new wife, is joining the family, and she might also have a claim on the inheritance. I even think that when the dad shook his son's hand, he said, "Prenup." That was his Mazel Tov.

The rabbi kept on saying "The Chatan." He forgot his name. Not as bad as the time he forgot the name of the deceased at their funeral and he was calling her Mrs. Wichita.
The family at the funeral was fine, until one of the members said she lost the pageant.

The Kiddish club parties have less drinking going on than at the Kiddish club. Usually the parties aren't happening during Davening. As the rabbi noted, "There's no real reason to drink if you're not praying to Gd."