Sermons of Rebuke IV: VaYera

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
Mazel Tov to the Kornbluth family on the worst Bris. No onions were provided. Nobody enjoyed the bagels. From now on, anybody who hosts a Simcha with bagels must provide onions. The rabbi had to take the Mohel back to his place to cut up some onions. Mohels should not be cutting onions... Tomatoes are optional. Lox may be served without tomatoes.

We are very proud of our shul programming. We have another speaker coming next week. We ask that people stop trying to be creative and we stick to speakers. There’s no reason for a games night if you don’t have a speaker at it. Our programming focus is speakers.

Bingo lost money again. We’re the only shul who loses money at Bingo. We ask the volunteers sell the snacks, and not eat them.
 
Contemporary Halacha Classes: How to Have People Not Bless Your Son by Not Providing Onions for the Lox. How to Ruin a Program with a Speech. How to Make Money off Bingo and Not Report it Like The Pintzkowitzs.

Rabbi Mendelchem's Drasha Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Pupils...
The angels come to destroy Sedom and the Sedomites want to "know them"... This is why I was very skeptical when Merv and Ethel invited us over for dinner when I first started as rabbi...
We’ve all been there. Lot offers his daughters. That’s how messed up Lot's family was. Imagine the Hershblooms. They were even worse than the Hershblooms...

(Bereishit 19:13) The angels tell Lot to get out of Sedom with his family. ‘For we are destroying this place, for their outcry (their screams) have become great before H’...’ What is the outcry? They were out of control. Were they loving it? Were they not? It’s hard to tell the difference between partying and crying when it’s immoral. When you have a shul that has no idea how to run a Bingo night...

When you hear screaming coming from junior congregation, you have no idea what it means. Is it that they're playing paper football, or is Shayna's hair getting pulled out again... Your son is an animal, Baruch. I don't know what you do at home, but I am sure stuff is getting destroyed.

His son-in-law mocks it. (Bereishit 19:14) ‘He was like a a guy making jokes in the eyes of his son-in-law.’ No. I’m not making jokes now, Bernie.
His son-in-law influenced by Sedeom. He couldn’t see the evil. Kind of like the same way the congregants are influenced by the board... They have no idea what Torah is. Ethel. They think it's a corporation...

There was an outcry at the Bris. People wanted onions with their lox.
You don't serve lox without onions. Who eats lox without onions?... Of course you need cream cheese and lox. But it means nothing without onions.
And no eggs???
It was a bagel nightmare... And what do tomatoes do? Exactly. Nothing. Onions. Always have onions... Not whole onions. You don’t put a whole onion on a bagel. Got to cut them...

When you’re around poor Kiddishes and a town that doesn’t have a decent caterer, you forget. You think that is normal. You want to scream at the immorality...
Now you’re bringing up cream cheese again??? Is that even a question. What? Are you going to put butter on the bagel with lox?!

The board decided on speakers. They’ve decided that people like to listen to people speak... Excuse me Bernie. I’m speaking right now...
You have no idea what Victor from Israel talked about. He was a speaker. He didn't talk... The whole time Victor was focused on the meet and greet and how there were bagels and lox, but no onions.
It’s like you want to scream. You want to scream when you don’t get onions.  When you have to listen to another speaker, you want to scream. You want to scream when you’re the only shul that can’t make profit on Bingo....

Who loses money at Bingo... Then stop eating the snacks. Sell them.
I don't know if people are screaming because they won, or because they lost 12 thousand dollars. And now they can't pay their mortgage... I don't know why people in shul can't pay their dues. Are you guys going to church Bingo?...
It's all immoral.

We can’t let this be the shul normal. There is a huge outcry and we don’t even hear it, because the Chazin is so loud...

The angels tell Lot to leave. Lot doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t want to go too far. (Bereishit 19:18-20) He wants to go to a lesser bad Sedom city.
When you’re in a bad place, you want to stay. You don’t realize it. When you're at Beis Knesses Anshei Emes uSefilah, you want to scream. The membership. The board. The Chazin...

Pirkei Avot (1:17) 'Distance yourself from a bad neighbor. And don't become friends with an evil person.' Which is why I am not friends with my congregants.
We learn to find a moral place and be there. Find your morality and keep it... I'm here to teach. It's a mission. I'm trying to help you get out...

It’s hard when you’re in the thick of it. It’s hard to see the bad. You hear the screams and you think it's only kids gouging out eyes. We know junior congregation is scary and no parent wants to be there. Kids yelling.
There was an outcry at the Bris. People wanted onions with their lox. But you still go to the Bris, because you don't know any better. It becomes normal. The yelling. The madness. The anger over having lox with tomatoes and no onions just, you accept your fate...

This place is out of control. We must have control to keep the morality. To keep bringing in speakers. To have a well-run Bingo night. To ensure there are onions for the lox.
Keep your moral integrity and decent bagels.

Baruch's son has destroyed the building again. He's yelling and out of control. And now all the little girls and boys are crying...
Whether if it's for extreme pleasure or for extreme pain, either way, screaming is a concern.

Rivka's Rundown
The rabbi was telling the shul that they had bagels with no lox and no onions in Sedom. That is where all went wrong. He equated having no onions with the need for destruction of a people.

The rabbi literally yelled the whole sermon to get across his point that you can't sleep during his sermons.The board has been bad for so long, they are messed up. The rabbi was saying to destroy them.

What's a scream? That's a great question. And I appreciate the rabbi dealing with it very loudly.
When Bernie yells out during the rabbi's sermon, we know what that is. That's disruption.

I believe the rabbi said junior congregation is a bigger curse than the board. He did say that at least they're not in shul itself. To quote, 'Keep kids out of shul. I am already dealing with Bernie.'

Finally, the rabbi approached the onion issue.
I just left the Kornbluth Bris. I saw there were no onions. I went home and had cereal. It was very disappointing. After all of those Brachas for the newborn child and the cutting, to have no onions and no eggs. A shanda.

Everything is a speaker. You can’t have a program without a speaker. That’s the big thing. A speaker and 5k. You get a speaker, you pay a lot and it’s a shul program. It allows people to say they went to a speaker. They never have anything to say about the speaker, because they fell asleep. People will pay a lot for a good nap, if the person is famous.
The rabbi started handing out tests after the speakers. He even kicked out a member who scored a 30 on the test. It was my friend Malkie. She didn’t even know the guy was talking about medical ethics. She fell asleep as soon as he started talking about comas.

I think I'm going to change my profession to a speaker. I can talk about how the rabbi is right. I'm sure the rabbi will dip into his discretionary fund for me.
Most of the people in our shul are talkers. Nobody likes talkers. They like speakers.

Bingo has been pathetic. I think it’s the volunteering. Our membership hears that word and they run.