Sermons of Rebuke IV: Shelach

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
We need to raise funds. Thus, we shall be starting a committee. To answer questions of the congregants. This is how you raise funds. With a committee.
The shul needs money. To answer questions of the congregants. We need money for stuff. 

We are asking members to pay their dues. Many members have asked why? It was discussed by the board for many hours. It was decided that dues have to be paid because they’re dues.
Please Note: Dues do not give you the right to talk during Davening.
 
Another three-hundred-dollar dinner is this week. It’s a fundraiser
 
We ask members practice wrapping their Tallis so the rest of the congregation doesn’t have to wait an hour for them to get an Aliyah.
 
Contemporary Halacha Classes: How to Join a Committee and Annoy People. How to Wrap a Tallis Around Your Shoulders Without Making Everyone Wait for Your Barchu. (follow-up class) How to Not Do A 15 Minute Mishebeyrach. 
Due to safety, we will not announce where the classes are.

Rabbi Mendelchem's Drasha Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Pupils...

It’s the way our people responded to Yehoshua and Calev... It's kind of like the board at a meeting when somebody suggests a committee isn't necessary...
(Bamidbar 14:8-10) The people shouted, 'tone them.'
Anything decent. Can’t happen. Anything good, you want to stone people.
I tried telling you all to keep Shabbis, one congregant tried running me over... On Shabbis.

They even told the Israelites that the people living in Israel, ‘they are your bread.’ The nation wanted Manna. They didn't want to take chances on food getting worse, once they moved to Israel... They didn't like the idea of food that did not come from the earth?!
They didn't know about Chumus and Tahini yet... Big grapes are very scary.

(Bamidbar 14:11-19) As they wanted to kill Calev and Yeshua and they didn’t want to go to Israel. Any reason to not go to Israel, just like our congregants who will come up with any reason to not come to shul... You still want COVID. It’s like COVID is your savior of Davening...
Moshe even had to use the H’ of compassion prayer. H’ who forgives iniquities... Do you know how hard it is to lead this congregation. The amount of compassion that must be mustered... You're a very hard to love people.
Will He forgive the board for not giving me a raise? Will He forgive the pain caused by having to serve on a committee? Will He forgive the trip to Israel that got cancelled due to a threat to the Pinkowitz vacation to Panama...

(14:20-24) Only Calev will see the land... Of course Yehoshua. The rest who tested H’ will die in the desert... Lemon meringue pie can kill. But we're talking about a desert. not dessert.
The shul trip to Israel. The protests... To this day, our congregation has a desert mentality...

A committee. Why do we need another committee? I am already feeling heartburn...
We need to protest committees. H' would have been fine with that. H' would support the protesting of a committee. He has no compassion for committees. What is the reason for these committees?...
Why are people not paying their dues? Did you receive the ‘you didn’t pay dues’ letter?... There is no please there. It’s not supposed to be nice. They're dues. You pay them... We don’t care if you’re getting any service. We have services every Shabbis morning... People are scared to call to ask people to pay dues. Last time you threatened their life. When they said dues will help make the shul beautiful and bring it to a sense of lavish for H’s glory to be apparent, you wanted to kill them. you threatened them.
You said you would pay dues after you stoned them...

Finally, the board let people know that paying dues doesn’t give you the right to talk in shul. If somebody can please announce this at the next committee meeting. They are so annoying...

We can’t announce where events are?! There are anti-Semites?! Did we not just speak of the Meraglim (the spies)?! What are we scared of?!
I am scared of congregants coming to me with annoying questions...
Oh my Gd. These people are annoying. How do You find the compassion to deal with them... That's my prayer...

It's that you have no belief in Gd. Either that, or you're scared of losing you money. You're scared of losing what you have... Yes. You have to go to fundraisers and you have to pay your dues...
You're worried about your life and money.
There are only eighteen more fundraiser dinners this month. There are a couple of days in June left... It’s your fault if you didn’t budget correctly for the three hundred dollar dinners...
I understand the fear of going to fundraisers. That may have kept people out of Israel...

You cause sinful acts.
We had to wait three minutes for you to put on your Tallis. The wait at Barchu was painful. Another Kiddish club started, due to your lack of ability to wrap a shawl around your shoulders... Your putting on a Tallis took almost as long as Galila. That was painful. This guy can't even get a cloth over a scroll. This congregation is very bad with fabric... If H' said we would have to use fabric in Israel with the congregants of Beis Knesses Anshei Emes uSefilah, I would've protested...
Learn how to do the stuff correctly... We have a congregation waiting for you. You get the cloth caught on the scroll. You get the Tallis caught in your hair. No idea how that happened...
And the we all waited for Barchu. It felt like it took forty years. Forty years of pain...
It's just a quick flip of the shawl. Swing the tassels around. And you hit the guy in the eye...
Dealing with this shul is a test of wills. It has people questioning their Emunah. It makes one say, 'If this congregation is moving to Israel, I am scared to live there. Even if the fruit is big. It's not worth it... That takes too much faith in H." And then there is Bernie...'

Rivka's Rundown
I think the rabbi just blamed the Jews dying in the desert and being allowed to enter Israel on the Meraglim and our congregants.

The membership didn't understand why the people didn't want to go to Israel. They all love Israeli food. Then they heard how much the trip costs.
The were protesting the shul's trip to Israel. Members were protesting their own trip to the Holy Land. They were scared they would have to pay.
It was a worse protest than the Antifa guys. Very violent.
The rabbi just wanted to go to Israel. He was hoping for another free trip.

Why everybody is going to Panama instead of Israel is another question we have to deal with here at Beis Knesses Anshei Emes uSefillah. A committee met to discuss this Panama vacation thing and how it affects tourism in Israel. It turns out Panama has two really good Kosher restaurants. That's enough for our community to spend 5k on a trip. When the committee discussed it, they concluded that 5k is not that much, as long as it's not a donation.

They are starting a fundraiser committee. That’s the goal. They don’t want to do fundraising. They want to talk about it.

Every organization always needs money. I don't understand it. I have never seen an organization that didn't need funds. No organization ever said, 'We had a great year. We do not need to do a fundraiser.'
If I open a restaurant, I’m going to call it fundraiser and charge a lot. It will come with a Bingo place attached.

I am leaving town next June. Vacationing the whole month of June. Every school has a fundraiser in June. Some camps called themselves schools just to have a June fundraiser. There was even a nursing home that called itself a school for older people and had a fundraiser.
I can’t afford these dinners. For three-hundred dollars they've got to give more than a leg.

Then they send these nasty ‘pay your dues’ letter. Like they expect it.
Worst part about dues. Everybody in the shul thinks they have a say because they pay dues. Worst thing. Would rather nobody paid dues and everybody shut up.
The announcement of not talking just because you paid dues had a bad backlash. People asked for their dues back. If you tell them they can't talk, why would they pay dues?! They pay the dues so they can feel good talking in shul.

The rabbi took a twelve-minute break in the sermon to teach people how to wrap a Tallis. Women were standing in the ladies' section showing how keeping a shawl on the shoulders is not that hard. One even showed the clip concept for style or men with no shoulders. One guy was so proud of himself when he pulled out his Tallis clip from his Bar Mitzvah. Menachem gave a whole speech about how his uncle gave him the clip when he was going up for the Haftorah.
It's painful watching them try to wrap their Tallis. Just throw it on. We're waiting. A lot of waiting. Nobody cares if it looks good. I have no idea how the folded look became a thing. Now we have to wait for men who can't even fold a sheet to place their clothing. The same men who do Mishebeyrachs.

So how do we show up to classes if we don’t know where they are. That’s it. I’ve given up.