Sermons of Rebuke IV: Matos-Masai

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
The front lock to the shul is now good for use on Shabbis. Many people have asked how they can break in during non-office hours. Now, with Hebrew, you can break in even on Shabbis. And you won’t be breaking the laws of Shabbis as you do on your way home.
 
We’re honoring the Schonefelds for being the most classy members of our congregation. They have not eaten at Kiddish all year. That's class.
 
The rabbi has decided that he will be learning the laws of Shabbat with the congregants at Shalishudis. He said it is at the point that the congregants should know how to sin with more Kavanah.
 
We are looking for sponsors of the Chumashim we already bought.

Contemporary Halacha Classes: How to Use a Lock By Knowing Hebrew: Breaking Into Shul Would Be A Good Thing For Some of You. How to Not Eat at Kiddish and Look Like a Normal Human Who’s Relaxed Around Choolante: Not Hurting the Elderly for Kugel. How to Raise More Money Off Something You Already Raised Money On.

Rabbi Mendelchem's Drasha Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Pupils...
It’s been two long Parshas... I don’t know why they put them together. It was probably somebody in this shul. The president likes making things painful for everybody.

The real question is if Reuven, Gad and half of Menashe did the right thing staying on the other side of the Jordan. Not entering Israel... If the Pinskowitz family stayed in Iowa and didn’t move to Topeka, I think we would have all been fine with that...
(Bamidbar 32:6-15) Moshe compares it to the Meraglim (spies), letting them know that not going the full way can cause the destruction of the people... I don't think we've ever had a successful community trip to Israel. Every trip gets cancelled due to safety... Look at this community. The fact that it's here, in Topeka. Destroyed. This is what happens when you don't move to Israel. Bernie... Do you not like Israel?... Sending money is not enough. I've seen how much you donate to the shul. Israel can't survive on falafel balls for dinner every night...

(Bamidbar 32:17-19) They commit. ‘We will arm ourselves ... we shall return to our homes until the Children of Israel will have inherited...’
No matter how disconnected they were, Reuven and Gad knew they had to fight with their people.
This congregation shares the characteristics of the tribes of Gad and Reuven. This shul is very disconnected. If you look at the back left section, they're still trying to find the page for the Torah reading... We finished reading Matos-Masai twenty minutes ago... I know it was long. I also feel like it's still going on... Because you're still talking like it's in the middle of Torah reading. At least show respect for the sermon... He's still trying to find Matos. Matos goes into Masai... Masai Yistimu HaPeh Shelahem (I think this means shut up)...
The only difference is the members of this shul never help... Even inter-shul baseball play was a failure this year. Again. Because nobody backed up the plate... Nobody is ever there to help. You always overthrow...

One thing that is not deniable. They were there to fight
Are we fighting with our brethren now?!... Posting to war on Facebook is not the same as... You lost a friend on Facebook. Stop saying you lost a friend...

This guy is still fighting for more safety in shul. Sometimes it's not about just your safety. It's about everybody... How much safety do you need? A Shabbis lock is still a locked door...
It's called a Shabbis lock because you can use it on Shabbis. If I have to explain this one more time. It's not to keep Shomer Shabbis Jews out. It's so that you can use it on Shabbis... You don't even keep Shabbis.
The shul Shabbis lock with transliterated Hebrew is not safe. If half of our congregants can get in on Shabbis, there is something wrong with the code... Antifa doesn't read Hebrew. Except for Molly in the far-right section over there... That's you under that mask, terrorizing Jewish students. Still convinced that part of hating Jews is attacking them... Hating your fellow Jew is more about complaining about how they had a bad Kiddish for their son's Bar Mitzvah...
Beforehand you were using an electric pad on Shabbat... No. That’s not good... Then learn Hebrew. We don’t want random people who need transliteration. We have enough congregants stuck on transliterating... It's not a left-wing thing to support transliteration...
It should be an incentive to learn Hebrew.
If you look at the back left section, they're still trying to find the page for the Torah reading... We finished reading Matos and Masai twenty minutes ago... I know it was long. Learn to read Hebrew pages. I still don't know why we can't get Chumashim that have numbers that are not in Hebrew letters. Nobody is trying to break into a Chumash...

The Schonefelds are classy. That do stuff for the Jewish people... That’s class. Stuffing your face with free choolante and babka is not class.
Class is not eating at Kiddish. It's simple. You don't eat at Kiddish. You stand and talk. You're classy. Classy people don't eat in public... Taking a plate of Kichel home is the next level of non-classy. Smart and economic. Great way to get something out of your dues. Not classy.

What do we learn? We have to choose correctly, or we might cause the destruction of our people. 'What do we learn' is the question...
Shmirat Shabbat KHilchata is a Sefer about the laws of Shabbis. I don't think anybody cares about that... You break those laws all the time. Anybody want to learn about how they are sinners? So, Misilat Yesharim?... Nobody knows what that is?! Then why did you vote for it???!!!
I think we’ll just learn Shmirat Shabbat KHilchata. You guys have no idea how to vote... You voted for Shmirat Shabbat KHilchata four times last week... Because you forgot each time. You forgot you voted for Shmirat Shabbat KHilchata. Then you voted for it again. Then I checked to make sure that's what you wanted, and you didn’t raise your hand again. The next time I asked, to be sure, Mark asked, 'What's that?' I explained. 'That's the one about Shabbis. The one you just voted for.' Mark says, ‘Oh. I want that one’... Watching you guys make decisions for the community is watching the destruction of our people. I'll choose...
The Schonefelds didn't vote. Class...

Yes. We bought the Chumashim already with donation monies. But does that mean we shouldn’t have somebody paying for them again... That’s the point of the sponsor. I haven’t had a raise in...

Rivka's Rundown
That’s how I judge a classy person. If they don’t eat at Kiddish, they’re classy.

The rabbi got cheers when he said, ‘It's been two long Parshas.’ The congregants finally felt like somebody heard them.

The rabbi is correct. Nobody ever helps. If congregants helped, maybe we would see our shul with a better softball team. A non-destroyed team. I have no idea why we're called the Beis Knesses Anshei Emes uSefilah Lions. Nobody in our congregation is talented enough to come up with a cheer that long. We should just be called the Lions. It's also embarrassing to go through the shul's name and to be associated which such an untalented squad.
We've lost a lot of potential members when people found out the Lions were part of Beis Knesses Anshei Emes uSefilah. I heard one potential member say, 'They are definitely not praying for health.' Shlomo didn't even make it to first base on that walk. Truth is, I don't think our membership would be of any help in war. Not even standing on the sides cheering them on.
 
Now you can only break into the shul if you know Hebrew. They didn’t even use script on the lock. It’s the Hebrew font you see on the computer.
The rabbi was right about the safety thing. These people care so much about their own safety. They forget about their people. If Jews can't break into a shul on Shabbis, do we have a community?! We have happy people. But not community.

People didn't want to learn about how they are sinners. They were worried that was going to push them to have an internal wanting to learn Shemirat Shabbat KHilchata. They figured that if they just learned the Shabbis Sefer they wouldn't get guilted into learning something else.
It took a while to decide what we learn. A few weeks ago, we decided, and then we decided again four times on the next vote where we forgot we already decided to learn about Shabbat. The rabbi decided and he finally started this Shabbat. Finally, the rabbi opened up the Sefer and started learning. We all just watched. We didn’t learn a thing. We just watched. I thought the idea was to learn this together at Shalishudis.
Zalman, the one congregant full of pride for his rabbi, announced, ‘In our shul, we watch our rabbi learn.'

It seems our congregants like the act of voting. They like the idea that they're part of the decision-making process. No idea what's going on, but they still vote. This is why they voted on the Shabbis lock with letters they can't read.
Having to hear them complaining and blaming the shul for them not being able to read Hebrew was painful. The shul did whatever they can to make it easier to break in. In the end, they wrote the code in Roman numerals.

Now we're sponsoring shul days. We sponsor everything now. It feels like every day is Yom Kippur.
Sponsored Chumashim??? Somebody already bought them. Now they're getting somebody to donate them again. They paid for the Chumashim and now somebody has to pay for them again. They get me every time with these sponsorships. I sponsored Kiddish two weeks ago to find out somebody else also lost a grandparent. It's a scam.
From now on, I'm going to sponsor on a contingency. I eat so much at Kiddish, just to get my money’s worth. I’m not classy.

The class on how to raise more money by raising money for something you already raised money for was a huge success. It turned into a panel with every board member who shared a different angle on how to take money from people for an organization that doesn't need it.

I don't think anything can destroy our shul. Our community is so messed up already.