Laws of Foundations of Torah... All plagiarized from the Rambam
Laws 9-10: H’ knows. Because He is Truth. No. You can't handle the Truth.
Law 9: Since Gd knows Himself, His greatness and His beauty. He knows all creation. He even knows what you're thinking. Which is, "I don't want to go to work tomorrow." Nothing is hidden from Gd, which is why it's easy to blame Him. H' knows from the first formed stuff to the mosquito. And yet He still lets them bite you. Law 10: H’ knows this truth as Himself. As such, He knows all creation as Himself. He doesn’t view anything as outside of Him. H' sees it all through Oneness. Within. And you have the Chutzpah to have an ego. Everything revolves around you and you being the one that gets all the good meat out the Choolante pot. That's how I define a selfish egotistical person. Anybody who's scooping out all the good meat and Kishka from the Choolante. I couldn't come up with a better definition than that. I figured selfish Choolante scoopers would talk to everybody. We see everything outside ourselves. I barely know myself. I'm still trying to figure out the placement of the different hairs on my arm and why they're there. The stuff coming out of the nose is not pleasant and I'm trying to distance myself from it. It's good to know it's outside of myself. I don't want to associate myself with this bald guy with nose hair. If anything was outside of H', that would mean there's other gods. And that would make Davening a lot longer. The lives are people are two. Confusing. Yes. It's confusing. By man it says Chayei, "By the life of your soul." By H' it says Chai, "H’ lives" (Shmuel I 25:26). H' just is. One. It's not plural by H'. By us, it's two. It could be translated "lives of your soul." That's at least how I translate it. You have no right to get all high on yourself, scooping out the Choolante, when there are others outside of you too. H' just is. It's not being high on Himself. If I could explain it, I would be arguing with the Rambam's point that we can't explain it. Which is why the Rambam spends all of this time explaining it. He is knowledge. And we still spend all that money on college. That's the crazy thing here. Since there is nothing outside of Gd, He knows everything because He knows Himself. And everything else is dependent on Him. We're not talking about you father-in-law paying for everything. We're not talking about you not getting a job, telling your father-in-law that Gd will provide. We're not talking about your father-in-law now thinking he's Gd. You like how I worked that?! He is the Foundation. The First. Ever sing "Chad Gadya"? I love that song. Just wanted you to know. Great song. Great way to end a Seder. Lesson: Mosquito bites are for oneness with H'. Tags:
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Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach. You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. 
Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
1/2/2025
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