I'm forty-seven years old and I try not to lead on younger women. But as Pascal said, "The heart has its reasons which reason does not know," and thus I get in trouble. And I can't figure out why.
So, I'm talking to this younger woman and she's showing interest, saying she'll be more than half my age in a couple years. She then asked if I had a physical lately and asked to see my bloodwork. Now I know she's serious about a relationship. I'm pretty much an open book, so I show her my bloodwork, the vein they stuck the needle in, and my tax returns. She smiled saying that I was a good candidate and that we shouldn't wait too long. I was flattered. And then she tried to sell me life insurance. It turns out her flirting got me, and I got the life insurance. No romance. Later though, she was nice enough to introduce me to her friend who plans to collect on that life insurance. The romance doesn't stop there. I was working at this Jewish retreat center and these two women said, "We want you to marry us!" My face turned white. I looked at them and told them that I can't do it. "I really only have feelings for one of you, and I just can't share that." They gave me a quizzical look and I was confused. They said, and I'll remember these words till the day I die, "No you idiot. You're an ordained rabbi and we want you to marry us." I was bothered by those two women. They should know that according to Halacha, nowadays, I can only marry one of them. So, I walked away. I will tell you this. Neither of those women are getting any life insurance. Tags:
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Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach. You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. 
Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
6/11/2026
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