Why did the holiday last fourteen days? It was Shavuot. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? A Shavua is a week. We’re celebrating Shavuot. Shavuot is two weeks. Shavuot really comes seven weeks after Pesach. Even though it's one or two days, it's still called Shavuot. Not Yomeet. Yom means day. Education. That's why we do these puns for the youth. It should be called Yomeeot. The IRGC won’t negotiate. Though, they insist, they have 60% Iranian. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? It’s uranium. They’re saying they have 60% Iranians. They’re Middle Eastern. It sounds the same to them. It’s their English. It's not very good. That's why the negotiations are going nowhere. Jews in Denmark wait till Shkiyah (sunset) to eat their dessert, because it’s DayNisht. (Mordechai) You get it? Danish. DayNisht. That's Yiddish for "not day." Danish, the pastry. Jews in Denmark speak Yiddish while eating Danish. A little known fact about the pastry that not many know. The doctor brought up the war in Iran. I didn’t know what to say, as I don’t follow the news. So, she gave me topical medication. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Topical. News. On top of the skin. The doctor prescribed political medication. Meds to help me with the news... Maybe the doctor was suggesting regular meds. I don’t know. Either way, it was topical. For the guy who had the rash, that’s what they were talking about that day. Keebud Av vEim requires a child gets their parents snacks. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Keebud means refreshments. It also means to honor. Honor your parents. You honor your parents by going to the dessert table for them. Getting them cookies. Education. We here at the Kibbitzer are about teaching Mitzvot and how to approach a buffet. The 17th of Tammuz went from dawn till night. Boy that was fast. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? It’s a fast day. A quick fast day. It’s not like Tisha BAv that we start the night before. It's a fast fast. Tisha BAv is a slow day. I got a great deal on Tzitzit. I was amazed. The salesperson said, “That’s the price. No strings attached.” (Mordechai) You get it? Tzizit. Fringes. Strings. Tzizit need them attached. ***Note: You've learned that Shavuot should be called a day and that Danish Jews eat Danish. And then we kept you up to date on politics. Explaining you can learn more about Iran with topical medication. It's all about education for us. For the children. And that’s why we focus on Mitzvot like Tzitzit with no strings attached. Tags:
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What’s an ant that wants family to be at their wedding? A cantaloupe! You get it? An antelope would be an ant that can elope. Science. This one can't. Hence, cantaloupe. It's a religious ant. C-ant-aloupe. Not the fruit. A type of ant. Ant is in there, in the middle. The ant can't elope. It's a religious ant. Wants her family to be there. And she likes fruit. That ant that shows up at the wedding is your mother’s sister that doesn’t hate you. 
Chason/Chatan- A man whose family members tell him, after the wedding, that his life will change. Sentence: ‘Now your decisions aren’t yours.’ Said by his uncle, to remind him that his uncle made a bad decision and he regrets it. Another Sentence: ‘Just remember these words: “I am sorry.”’ Response: A required laugh, from everybody who already heard Uncle Tivi say this at every Sheva Brachot. Response from the Chatan: ‘Why did nobody mention this until now?! Would you not think this is something you would have brought up before the wedding?!
Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Thursday - Sept. 17 @ 7pm Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
(Nidda 30b) Before birth you learn all of Torah. And then an angel comes hits you on your mouth, and you forget it. We learn much from this comforting teaching, knowing how easily we forget stuff. And this is why I did bad in Gemara class. We also learn that angels have a very violent temper.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
7/13/2026
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