They were funny pioneers. They kept Kibbutzing. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Kibbitzing means joking and banter. Kibbutzing is when people on the Kibbutz, the pioneers, do it. I came up with that. Thank you. They were interested in bacon, because they were Apikurious. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? An Apikores is a heretic. Epicurious is being interested in food and new dishes. If Torah interested them, they’d be Torahcurious. They wouldn't be curious in eating nonKosher food. Apikurious people also want to eat the food. The definition of Apikurious is not out there yet, so I have taken the liberty to define it. I would be curious to hear a differing opinion. The men declared that the Piyutim, liturgical poems, were for them. "Which is why they are called Hymns." (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Hims. Hymns. They sound the same. We call the hymns for Selichot, Piyutim. The women wanted to read Hyrs. But those don't exist. The men in that community should share the Hymns with the women, as they're for everybody. To give historical context. For the sake of peace and nonjudgmental living, homophones are for straight people too. This New Year has been going real well Shofar. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Thought I would share that. So far. Here it’s Shofar. It’s Rosh Hashana, and the guy had a lisp. And I’m also feeling good Shofar. I played poker against Satan's lawyer. I was playing devil's advocate. (Mordechai) You get it? The Satan is the devil. His lawyer advocates for him. You shouldn’t play poker with the devil's lawyer before Yom Kippur... It gets confusing. Is Mordechai the devil's advocate, or is the lawyer the advocate? Or are they both? I got a crazy citron this year. The guy selling it said it was an Etrogue. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? The citron is the Etrog we wave with the Lulav. It went rogue. It was on another table, doing its own thing. Hence, Etrogue. It went rogue. EtRogue. If Adam was president Chava would be the First Lady a second time. (Mordechai) You get it? First Lady. She was the first created lady. It’s a pun. A two word pun. That counts. We’re talking about Adam HaRishon. Greatest last name ever. Not Adam Cohen. Please note, we know this is not a real situation. This couldn’t happen. Chava and Adam HaRishon passed away a while ago. Adam only lived for around nine hundred years. Tags:
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If somebody at the Seder tells you the salt water is low in sodium, take it with a grain of salt. You get it? Salt has sodium. So, take more salt. Whatever you need to do to make the Seder more meaningful, by making things harder to eat, do it. We bring our puns to add to your Passover experience. If you’re the one who made the salt water, you can share the joy of Mordechai’s pun, while handing someone a grain of salt. When delivering puns, always ask, “What would Mordechai do?” Oh. "Take it with a grain of salt" means don't take it to heart. Now you get the pun. 
I did not clean that shelf last year. The mushrooms might not be fresh. Yet, that can is sealed nice and tight. I am at an impasse… Thank Gd for Pesach. I’m must’ve not got to that cupboard since 2008.
That’s why those cans are good. They remind you how long it’s been since you cleaned. 
Click on the picture for tickets to share laughs with David Kilimnick in Jerusalem on Thursday, February 12th
Due to leaving Mitzrayim in haste, we are commanded to eat Matzah, a “poor man’s bread” (Devarim 16:3). I am fulfilling that Mitzvah. After purchasing Shmura Matzah, I’m out of money.
Let me explain. Though it's a poor man's bread, Shmura Matzah can be very expensive. The boxed machine Matzah, sold at a dollar-fifty a pound, is probably what the Torah was talking about. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
10/18/2025
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