Jewish Puns XXVIII: Mordechai’s Shivim Punim LaTorah

by Mordechai Stein

They were picking pumpkins, but ended up catching lagenaria. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Lagenaria is a gourd too, but it sounds like a disease. They caught it. The gourd must’ve fallen. Just threw you another pun there. You saw "caught"? Fallen, and caught a disease? Though, lagenaria is not a disease. Education of produce is also important to us here at The Kibbitzer.
 
If you forget Tu BShvat, there’s always Three BShvat. (Mordechai)
You get it? He misunderstood. Tu Bshvat is the 15th of Shevat, which is the New Year of the Trees. Not the 2nd. He thought it meant "two." So he said "Three BShvat." It should be Taz BShvat. Not “three.” "There is always Taz BShvat." That should be the pun.

They put out a movie about an ox that ran over a guy. It was a gory movie. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Oxen gore. Movies can be gore. The Parsha talks of an ox that gores. A horror film about a goring ox is our idea. A Halachikly sound horror film that educates.

In the desert, after they prayed, the Jews hung out at the Tavernacle. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? The Mishkan was the Tabernacle. We took out the “b” and put in a “v.” Tavern. That word is there, in "Tavernacle." Other people went to the MidBar. You get it? Midbar is desert in Hebrew. Bar. "Bar" is part of the word. (Mordechai said he goes to the MidBar- each pun artist drinks at their own place)
 
What’s a cat’s favorite holiday? Purr-im. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Cats purr. The beginning of Purim is “Pur.” We added an extra “r” to make the pun work. We don’t know what to do with the “im” part. But the pur is there. Puns are meant to be meaningful, even if you don't finish them.

What do you call Purim pastry somebody sat on? Hamentushin. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? It’s Hamentashin. But the guy sat on it, so it’s “tushin.” Tush jokes are great.
 
I want to open a petting zoo for miniature llamas. Lama Lo. (Mordechai)
You get it? Llamas. Lama means "why" in Hebrew. Lama Lo means "why not." Brilliance. And llamas are funny. They are truly funny. Why? I don't know. Llama? They just are. If you want to understand our puns, you should learn Hebrew. A little Musar for those of you who love puns.