Jewish Puns XXVI: Mordechai’s Shivim Punim LaTorah

by Mordechai Stein

What do you call a Mashgiach who's traveling to Israel? An Overseaer. (Mordechai)
You get it? Mashgiachs oversee. Kosher supervision. Now he's traveling overseas as the overseer. Hence, Overseaer. He spend the whole time on the plane checking the food. Maybe he's not checking the food. I'm not sure. The spelling on that pun was hard. That can happen with the art of pun writing. But you push through for the people who need to hear it.

What did the people of Sedom learn? Gomorrah. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Sedom and Gomorrah. Gemara is what we learn. Gomorrah was wicked, along with Sedom. They wouldn’t have been wicked if they learned Gemara. This pun doesn’t work in Hebrew, as it’s Amorah. Amorahs are rabbis who wrote the Gemara. A very confusing pun. Sometimes, you have to leave the people not understanding what the point of the pun is. If Gomorrah was learning Gemara with Amorahs, they would've been on the right track.

Avraham’s nephew got his name because he wanted a Lot of land. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Lot. A lot. Lot’s herdsmen fought with Avraham’s over land. Next time maybe we'll talk about Lot's lot. You get it. 'His lot.' That's two puns right there. Again, educating with words used in a way they were not meant.
 
Went to a matchmaker. They set me up with great stuff to light my Havdalah candle. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Matchmakers set people up. This one makes matches. Matches to light things on fire. Not people. Sure, this has been used before. But this pun hasn’t been used enough. There is so much more it can give. “Set me up with a box.” A matchbox. Just throwing that out there. So much more.
 
I handed in a paper about the importance of putting up a Mezuzah. It was an Assay. (Mordechai)
You get it? A paper. An essay. Mitzvat Assay or Asei. A positive commandment. You hand in an Essay. Not an Assay. Though it’s important to tell kids that it’s a Mitzvat Asei to hand in an essay, so they do their schoolwork. Mezuzah is a Mitzvat Asei. You need to learn Torah to understand this pun. I hope that inspires you. Next time you get an assignment, make it a Mitzvah and hand in an Assay.

Esav was mad his Birthright didn’t allow him a free trip to Israel… He was already there. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Esav sold his birthright to Yaakov. Birthright gives free trips to Israel. Esav didn’t get that. That’s probably the reason he was mad at Yaakov. If he wasn’t living in Israel, he still wouldn’t have got it. They didn’t have Birthright back then. Birthright brings families together.

What song did they sing for the Chassid with a red Bekishe? “Jingle Belz.” (Mordechai)
You get it? It’s the season for these kind of puns. Belz is a Chassidic sect. Chassidim usually have long beards and eat. Some have the big stomach. A Bekishe is a robe. You put one of those on a heavy guy with a big beard... “Jingle Bells” is the song. Here, it’s “Jingle Belz.” What do bikers with a red robe sing? I don't know. That's why we didn't answer that question.