Jewish Dictionary Words This Month II

Ceasefire- a) Iran and Hamas are allowed to shoot. Sentence: 'There’s a ceasefire. Hezbollah is attacking.' Response: 'As long as we stopped.' b) Israel is not allowed to defend itself. See Hezbollah for when ceasefire means to shoot rockets at Israel. Also see American and European news outlets for people who get mad when Jews aren’t being killed. c) A chance for Iran to load up their weapons and attack.

Blech- a) Platah. A Yiddish to Hebrew translation is good enough for us. If you need more help on this word, you can purchase an Eliezer Ben Yehuda edition of the Hebrew dictionary. That’s a helpful place to look to find out what words mean. b) Usually, a metal sheet used to cover the flames of the stovetop on Shabbis and to burn your hand. Sentence: ‘You sure the Blech is stopping this soup from cooking on Shabbis? The liquid is boiling and my palm is scorched.’
 
Tatteh- Also Tattee. This dialect for ‘Dad’ makes you Frum. Like using a Yiddish phrase in the middle of conversation. Example: ‘We going biking later. Vismachsteh.’ Leaving out an important word from the English language, such as ‘are,’ makes this statement ultra religious. Have your child throw in Tatteh when you go to The Mountains for the summer, and they will know you can identify good pizza. Frum Jews know where to get pizza.
 
Ganiv/im- Thieves and people that charge for services. Sentence: ‘The Ganiv installs the oven and then he charges $450.’ Another Sentence: ‘I brought the car to the garage and the Ganiv charges for parts and labor.’ See Anti-Semites for mechanics and people who charge for their work. Jew haters.

We want to thank David Kilimnick for blaming his inability to find a good deal on antisemitism. Making it harder on us as Jews to be liked. We also appreciate his understanding of how cooking on Shabbis works. There's got to be a better dictionary out there.