Since the beginning of the war, and the recent tragedies that befell our people, American Jews have made it a point to do stuff for Israel. Some have sent packages. Some have went shopping. Some have went out for dinner. Some have even vacationed in Panama, for Israel.
I feel it's time for me to do my part. And that is why I wrote this love sonnet of support for Israel. An imprecise sonnet in song. And now, THE SONG FOR ISRAEL: I dedicate this song for you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. I went to the mall for you. Picked up some shoes for you. They were UGGs. Cause I support you. Israel I support you. Then I got a Sundae at Friendly’s, because it was Sunday for Israel. Then I renovated my house for you, Israel. Put in air-conditioning for you. Because it was hot in Rochester. And it’s hot in Israel. I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Went on a walk for you. Went to the park for you. Had a picnic with a checkered blanket for you. Israel I support you. We ate pasta for you. It was a sunny day for you. Played pickup basketball for you, Israel. Called a foul for Israel when I got hit on the layup. Then I played pickleball for you. Israel. It’s like Matkot with a net and a different ball. I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Had a BBQ for you. With my family. In solidarity. For you. In New Jersey. For you. Israel I support you. We had a Bar Mitzvah in our shul for you. Packed up fruit for you in the grocery. We loaded up our fridge for you, Israel. I gave money to my shul for you. In Rochester. A huge Kiddish in honor of you. Then I went out and got drunk for you. I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Went for lunch. Dedicated my hamburger to you. The crunchy fries for you. A blooming onion for you. Israel I support you. Blooming like you. Israel. The Golan. Dunked it in mayonnaise. It was blooming. And the fries were crunchy. For you, Israel. The crunchy blooming country. Israel. Was going to do the army. But I bought a necklace for you. With a heart and a picture of my girlfriend in it. It was a locket necklace of a heart for you and my girlfriend. For you, Israel. I was going to get the dog tag for you. I got a dog instead. For you. I bought a Maltese for you. Israel. To protect you. I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. I was going to join Tzahal. I volunteered at the kennel for you. I wore a flag for you. Wore the blue and white, and red for you. Israel I support you. And I went on that trip for you. To Spain. Had a layover in Maine. There was rain. I was in a plane. For you, Israel. The rain is Spain stays mainly in the plain. For you. Israel. Cause I support you. And then I moved to New York for you. Bought a house in the Five Towns for you. Israel. Israel. I held off on that move for you. Was going to visit you. But for you, I saved money. And I went to Miami. In solidarity, with you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. I didn't make a donation for you. Israel. Because our love is deeper than that. Our love is deeper than money. Because I love you. I support you. Israel. Put up a post for you on social MeeDayYah. That’s Hebrew. For you. And I went to the gym today. In dedication for you. Israel I support you. And I sent the hand-me-downs to you. I won’t forget that. I support you. ***Please note: "Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you. Israel I support you." That is the chorus of the sonnet. If I understand sonnets correctly. It’s probably a song. I now feel like I've done my part in support of Israel. And every Israeli that eats blooming onions knows it. Tags:
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If somebody at the Seder tells you the salt water is low in sodium, take it with a grain of salt. You get it? Salt has sodium. So, take more salt. Whatever you need to do to make the Seder more meaningful, by making things harder to eat, do it. We bring our puns to add to your Passover experience. If you’re the one who made the salt water, you can share the joy of Mordechai’s pun, while handing someone a grain of salt. When delivering puns, always ask, “What would Mordechai do?” Oh. "Take it with a grain of salt" means don't take it to heart. Now you get the pun. 
I did not clean that shelf last year. The mushrooms might not be fresh. Yet, that can is sealed nice and tight. I am at an impasse… Thank Gd for Pesach. I’m must’ve not got to that cupboard since 2008.
That’s why those cans are good. They remind you how long it’s been since you cleaned. 
Click on the picture for tickets to share laughs with David Kilimnick in Jerusalem on Thursday, February 12th
Due to leaving Mitzrayim in haste, we are commanded to eat Matzah, a “poor man’s bread” (Devarim 16:3). I am fulfilling that Mitzvah. After purchasing Shmura Matzah, I’m out of money.
Let me explain. Though it's a poor man's bread, Shmura Matzah can be very expensive. The boxed machine Matzah, sold at a dollar-fifty a pound, is probably what the Torah was talking about. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
9/9/2025
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