How To Stay Up Shavuot Night with People: Education with Rabbi David

by Rabbi David

Staying up all night on Shavuot is the greatest quandary of the Jewish people, other than how to not starve when not eating for eight hours of a fast day. Much discussion has been had about fast days, and many have concluded that eating a pie and a half of pizza will help with the severe hunger resulting from skipping a meal. Even so, we still struggle to figure out how to stay up all night on Shavuot.
To stay up all night, people have tried the sleep for three days before Shavuot method. However, they found that they liked sleeping and went to sleep Shavuot night as well. In the past we've suggested dairy, to stay up by way of cheese and stomach issues. Preferably heartburn. We've also suggested the caffeine method, along with Ritalin and speed for those too young to drink Coca-Cola. Health comes first. We do not suggest stunting the growth of a child. And then we've suggested activities such as wrestling and learning, and we learned that learning is the worst way to stay up. Today, we shall now focus on a few Socializing Methods of staying up Shavuot night for those who find it more meaningful to not learn Torah.

Talk to People
Best to do this in the Shiur. If I wasn’t talking and snoring during that class, I would've fallen asleep. My snoring keeps me up by way of people hitting me.
We have to receive the Torah together on Shavuot. For that reason, talking to people is like learning. It is part of the communal acceptance of the Torah. Which is why people talk in shul. Tradition. When Moshe was giving over the commandments at Sinai you cannot tell me that people weren't talking in the back.
Anybody who shushes you, because they want to listen to the Shiur, doesn’t understand the spirit of the holiday. If they do shush you, in the spirit of the holiday, tell them to to shut up and go to Gehenim.
 
Meet A Potential Spouse
If you're single, this is your chance to get somebody to like you. When people are tired, judgment may be impaired. This is why Shavuot in big cities is used by single people to got to shul and not learn.
You may not want to employ conversation when using the Potential Spouse Method of awakeness. Dialogue with your potential spouse may kill any chance you have with her. You want to surprise them with your stupidity once you get married.
If you see the women going to Shiur, then you go to the class. Act interested and they may think you know something, and you might have a Shidduch. Don't ask any questions. Even impaired people recognize dumb.
The only time I learned on Shavuot night was the time I met a good Jewish woman. It was 3am and she was walking into the women’s Torah study session. I sat in the session, shaking my head a lot, and she thought I was very knowledgeable. I was sleeping and kept on waking up when my head fell. She thought I was agreeing with the rabbi. After Shavuot, she got some sleep, we got together, she started some sophisticated conversation about Torah and the importance of learning, and our relationship was over.

Go to the Kotel
In Jerusalem you can walk to the Kotel. You can talk to people there. You can even meet a spouse, if you're one of those creepy people who stares over the Mechitzah. I've done it. It works. You can also talk to people during Davening there. I've done that too. You can also wrestle at there, in the back plaza. If you're looking to get a Shulchan (table at the Kotel used to hold the Torah), wrestling will be necessary.
As we learned on Yom Yerushalayim, you definitely won't fall asleep at the Kotel. Jerusalem stone is not comfortable.
If you live outside of Jerusalem I don't suggest walking to the Kotel. That may turn Shavuot into a six day Chag. Staying up for more than two days straight can be taxing. Instead, go for a really long walk in your city. The further you are from your home, the less likely you are to fall asleep. Check out your city's crime rate map. The greater percentage of homicides a neighbor offers, the more likely you are to stay up.

Lessons
Shiurs only keep people awake if you're talking. Which is why many people become rabbis.
Definitely don't learn Torah when staying up Shavuot night to receive the Torah. Learning Torah will chase people away.
If you get caught in a Shiur, only learn Torah if it will attract a lady. For this you must judge the woman and the frumpiness of her clothes. Frumpy is the dress of good Frum girls.