Halacha Shvui: Jewish Laws this Month XXVIII

by Rabbi David

This month we learned about Tisha BAv, Shema and marrying people you don't think are hideous, which has caused the Shidduch industry to take a big hit. Let's learn a Bissel Torah.

It’s our tradition to read Megilat Eicha on the night of a Tisha BAv in the dark, with flashlights, because that draws the flies to you.
 
(Kiddushun 41a) You have to see a woman before marrying her. Bothersome as it is, you’ll probably have to see her after you’re married too.
Rav Yehuda says Rav says it’s forbidden to betroth a woman until seeing her because he might see something repulsive. Some girls have the big skirt buckles. Some guys are repulsed by those. If he becomes repulsed, he may end up violating the Mitzvah of loving your neighbor as yourself (Vayikra 19:18). This doesn’t mean you should be checking out your neighbor’s wife. There is no Mitzvah to love your neighbor’s wife. Just your neighbor. A little misreading can lead to a lot of problems in the community.
And this is why commentary is important.

(Berachos 12b) We should have added Bilam’s Bracha of the Jews to the Shema. We don’t add it because of Tircha DTzibur. It’s a bother to the congregation, as it would take a long time. Instead, we wait half an hour for people to finish the Shema prayer.
It speaks of H’ guarding us, so we have the serenity of a lion and lioness (Rashi- Bamidbar 24:9). Even this explanation is getting long. I’m going to stop that here. And I’m going to say Shema faster. You know what else is a Tircha DTzibur. When somebody enunciates the words of their Davening.
For some reason, the Gemara says nothing about making everybody wait half hour, while staring at you, trying to figure out why he's making us all wait. Nothing was said about the rabbi's job being to make people wait a very long time, so that they can become very frustrated. No Mitzvah of causing everybody to be extremely frustrated and to not want to show up to Minyin was mentioned.

(Nidda 30b) Before birth you learn all of Torah. And then an angel comes hits you on your mouth, and you forget it. This teaching is there to comfort us, knowing how easily we forget stuff. We also learn from this that angels have a very violent temper. We learn much from this teaching, and then we forget it. 
And this is why I was never good at Judaic studies. The angel.

​What We Learned from Rabbi David: Mourning is best done with a flashlight, as flies cause us to think about the Destruction of the Temples. Don't marry ugly people, because you can't love them. Kavanah, focus on Gd during Davening, is bad. And you should blame everything on angels. Not Jews. And we all now feel like worse people.