Rambam (Hilchot Yom Tov 6:18) 'One who locks the doors to his house and only eats and drinks with his kids and his wife, doesn't have the happiness of Yom Tov, but rather happiness of his stomach.' That sounds like good holiday happiness to me. I'm happy when I'm eating some decent blintzes... The Rambam might be saying it's a bad thing. The idea is that people should be able to break into your home while you're having dinner with the children.
I can tell you that being around the kids and the wife does not bring happiness. You need guests to offset having to deal with them. Each Shofar blast must be fully heard. Thus, the congregation must be completely silent. This isn’t going to happen. Tradition is to whack the Aravot on the ground on Hoshana Rabbah (Sukkah 44b), and then to leave them there. Leaving your mess and other trash in shul at the end of Sukkot works as a positive omen that somebody else will have to clean it up. (Rambam M’ Sanhedrin 10:1,1) Due to their lack of understanding, to get kids to learn you say, ‘Read and I’ll give you nuts and dates... honey.’ I liken Reese's peanut butter cups to dates. Same health benefits… The Rambam also mentions honey. I’m not a fan of that whole putting it on the Torah. My rabbi put it on the first letter of the Torah and had me lick it. I had a 'Bet' stuck to me tongue for half a year. He then put it on my Chumash, to make it sweet, I could never get those pages apart. He destroyed many Sefarim with the honey. Tags:
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If somebody at the Seder tells you the salt water is low in sodium, take it with a grain of salt. You get it? Salt has sodium. So, take more salt. Whatever you need to do to make the Seder more meaningful, by making things harder to eat, do it. We bring our puns to add to your Passover experience. If you’re the one who made the salt water, you can share the joy of Mordechai’s pun, while handing someone a grain of salt. When delivering puns, always ask, “What would Mordechai do?” Oh. "Take it with a grain of salt" means don't take it to heart. Now you get the pun. 
I did not clean that shelf last year. The mushrooms might not be fresh. Yet, that can is sealed nice and tight. I am at an impasse… Thank Gd for Pesach. I’m must’ve not got to that cupboard since 2008.
That’s why those cans are good. They remind you how long it’s been since you cleaned. 
Click on the picture for tickets to share laughs with David Kilimnick in Jerusalem on Thursday, February 12th
Due to leaving Mitzrayim in haste, we are commanded to eat Matzah, a “poor man’s bread” (Devarim 16:3). I am fulfilling that Mitzvah. After purchasing Shmura Matzah, I’m out of money.
Let me explain. Though it's a poor man's bread, Shmura Matzah can be very expensive. The boxed machine Matzah, sold at a dollar-fifty a pound, is probably what the Torah was talking about. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
11/2/2024
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