Chasidic Minyin at Miami Beach part II: Adventures of Mikakel Kaleekaku

by Mikakel Kaleekaku

How did the Gishmack Chassidic Minyin experience in Miami Beach end up. Last time we spoke of Streimels and my inability to pronounce them correctly. I sound too American to be Frum. What happened next.

One Guy Welcomed Me
One of the kind men came over to say "Vos Machstu." I answered, and he realized he was dealing with somebody that has a disability.
He was doing Kiruv. Either that, or he was just a kind man, or he was being nice to a nonJew that was wearing Tefillin. Whatever it was, he disrupted Davening.
There were other very nice people too. But they had too much Kavanah to say Hi. Come to think of it, that guy that welcomed me wasn't focusing on Davening. Not a very good Jew.

Torah Reading Was Different
I didn't understand Layning. I think they were Layning in Yiddish too. It must've been. To understand the Torah reading, I had to use the Hebrew as a translation.​

They Have Different Zmanim
I thought Shkiah was at sundown. It turns out it's forty minutes after that. Chassidim have longer days. Clocks read differently in Yiddish.
If you enjoy Shabbis, this is good stuff. You can get an extra few hours of Shabbis just in the morning hours.

One of Them Was A Rebbe
They were all rabbis. One was a rebbe. I know that now, because he was old. And he had a hunch in his back. Which means he learned a lot of Torah. And they followed him when he walked. That's when you know you're a holy person, when people follow you.
I was walking pretty fast to get to Minyin, and I cut in front of somebody walking very slow. That was a mistake. At the time, I was not aware of the Chassidic traffic patterns of Miami Beach. Now I know to walk slow. Just walk at a leisurely pace, behind people. Follow them and you'll be fine. The idea is to stalk the rebbe.
The rebbe truly slowed up traffic. There were a good thirty Chassidim behind him, waiting for him to go into the shul, so they could pick up the pace and get home.
As the rebbe walked into the shul, one Chassid said, "Now I'm late for work again."
Some walk fast. Some walk slow. Some walk behind the rebbe. Some take a car. But they're all Chassidim. Another Yiddish nursery rhyme I bring you.

There Were Women
There were women there. I didn't see them. They weren’t in shul. There is no way there were no women. Even Uman gets women.
After Davening, I realized the women were at the beach. Some of the women were in their swim trunks. Some in their Sheitel. Some were sunbathing. Some adjusting their Tichel. But they were all not at shul. Another Yiddish nursery rhyme. I just came up with that one and translated it as I wrote it.
Side note: Chassidic single weekends are not the right place to meet the ladies. 

They Will Ask for Money
People were asking for money. But not on Shabbis. So, you might want to skip Sunday morning Minyin. Save a couple of bucks.
It’s hard to choose who to give to. There were twelve guys collecting for something. I don't know what's for what. You see, I'm already talking as a good Chassid. "What's for what." That just sounds Yiddish.

And that's my experience as the eleventh man at the Minyin. A beautiful weekend with my Chassidic brethren, and I'm sure there were some sisteren there. Somewhere. They must've been there. 
​At least I came out sounding more Jewish.
​
I give you this rundown so that you can learn from it. And you can act Frum the next time you're going to the beach to check out the ladies.
I still have no idea what Chassidic sect they're from. I asked them, but I think they answered me in Yiddish. I didn't understand. I was amazed the rebbe felt it was important that his Chassidim be near South Beach.
I didn't expect to see that Minyin right off the beach. Men in bathing suits with a Streimel. B"H, I did not see that.
 
Some sunbathe in Israel. Some sunbath in Florida. Some are name Michel. Some are named Devorah. Another Yiddish nursery rhyme for you.