Announcements
We ask mourners not be selfish. The Davening leader should be the person with the highest level Chiyuv requirement on the chart of tragedy. A fisticuffs shouldn't break because Steve's father passed away last year. We understand that nobody wants to hear Felvel lead. But he is going through Shloshim. Being that it’s the first thirty days, he leads, unless if somebody has Yahrzeit. So please be sure to be here for your Yahrzeit, so we don’t have to listen to Felvel. The rabbi is on vacation. The Chazin will read the Drasha. The rabbi wants everybody to know he feels it necessary you all hear a sermon, as you’ve all been sinning this summer, and you’re bad congregants. The rabbi forbids Malkie’s Fat Loss Clinic. You can’t be a Frum Jew, and get thinner, when there’s Shabbat... Vegan Shnitzel is forbidden. Contemporary Halacha Classes: How to Offend the Death of a Parent By Not Sharing the Amud and Praying in with Our Congregation of Heretics. Leading Davening Not Like Felvel So People Want to Stay Jewish. Healthy Diets H’ Hates - Because There’s No Kishka. What Makes You a Sinner- A Look at the History of Beis Knesses Anshei Emes uSefilah. Rabbi Mendechem's Drasha Excerpts Shabbat Shalom My Pupils... (Devarim 7:20) H’ will send the hornet swarm to get the hidden enemies. But that’s if you listen and do the Mitzvahs... The military plan doesn’t work if you’re all sinning. You have to keep Shabbis for it to work. I tried getting hornets to go after the board. A bunch of sinners... The idea is the hornets go into the tunnels, and they run out. I’m not a military expert, but it works, Bernie. It just works... Moshe fights for everybody, so you are still alive and H’ doesn’t kill you... He fights with prayer. It can work. I have seen the way you guys attack the Gabai. You're alive, not because we had our first decent shul softball game on Sunday. And you are only going into Israel because the other people are so bad. The Amorites and their cousins, the ites, are just sinning more... Basically. You’ve done nothing, other than get Gd mad. But Gd is madder at them... I know this, because I've been around this congregation for a very long time, and I've seen how Jews are when they're on a board. If it was the board making decisions, we would've never made it to Yericho... Exactly. The shul trip to Israel hasn't happened for four years now. Because the board is involved. Sinners... (Devarim 10:11) H’ tells Moshe, “... let them come and possess the land that I swore to their fathers, to give them...” Earlier in the Parsha we see that we'll get kicked out of it. Because we're going to mess up. Ruchel will get involved as board president and she'll mess up the finances... The rebellious people that we are, we don’t necessarily deserve to go into the land. We have to go all the way back to our forefathers for a reason for Gd to like us. Which is why we have plaques in the shul. To remind Gd that at some point there were decent Jews here. Jews who paid dues and didn't mess up the finances and ruin the rabbi's contract... The Levites get nothing. The Leviim don't get any land. Does that sound fair?... Well, it’s fair. I'll answer the questions I ask here. (Devarim 10:9) They have H’... Stop blaming the Levites. I know they do a bad job of handwashing in our Shul. But they're not the reason. They’ll be fine doing Gd’s service. We are talking right now about you guys messing up everything that your forefathers worked for... Let’s see. The Leviim didn’t ruin everything with the Golden Calf. Or a new Torah crown without silver. They're not a reason for us to not be in Israel. In our shul, they're a reason to think that maybe the Levites shouldn't be the ones singing Tehillim on the steps of the Temple. You all have just as bad of voices as the Chazin... I have to explain this. This is why we have sermons. Leviim don't need a physical heritage. They have Gd. Can you get over the fact the Levites don't get land. It's not a punishment. Smirking in the back left. It's called spirituality... Yes. It does make you feel better to have Gd when you're broke... The point is you can't do anything good. Our congregants are not the reason for anything positive. Even so, as I've witnessed, you are very good at messing things up. Like Torah reading... Don’t mess up everything. Gd is doing a favor to our forefathers and me, letting you into Israel... If you moved to Israel, Topeka would be happier. Stop blaming the Levites. They're not the reason. They have Gd. You. You. I'm talking to you. You don’t mess it up. Once you understand you’ve done nothing good, your heritage will be there. It will be protected, even through hornets... Your kid getting bit up at camp was your fault. The Torah does not say to not spray your child. Just don't do anything and your heritage will be fine... No Bernie. Just stop. You're bothering everybody. Mitzvahs. Do Mitzvahs. Everything else will be taken care of. There are things we have to do. Leading Davening should be done right... You want hornets on us?! Then don't mess it up. The rules are. To lead the Davening, you have to have something awful happen to you?! If nothing awful has happened to you, you can't lead services. That's what a Chiyuv means. That or a Bris... I have had to deal with you. That is why I lead services sometimes. It's a deep pain I feel. A loss of joy... If somebody had something awful happen to them, let them lead. Don't be nasty. There shouldn't be Amud, prayer leading fights... You’re selfish, Vitaly, when it comes to Kaddish, never joining the community tune... You are so off beat. And this is an Ashkenazi shul. You’re stuck doing this fifteen-minute Edut Mizrach Kaddish. Nobody knows when to say Amen... We're asking you to not mess up the decentness your ancestors gave our community. Don't mess with plaques. They're the only good thing we have left in this shul. To not cause more Galut. We are asking mourners to be considerate of other mourners. To not be selfish mourners... Felvel. You're not the only one to lose somebody... He said, “I lost my dad last month.” Your response, “Then I should be leading. Yahrzeit trumps Shloshim.” There were no condolences. No LAliyas Nishama. No Hamakom Yinachem. You told him to leave. That is not comforting... And then a fight with Steve. You got mad at him because he had a Yahrzeit. The day his father died, and you want to throw punches... And what’s a fisticuffs. Are you fighting 17th century style? Is this one of those things where you start hitting each other and nobody ducks the punch?! And stop singing. We are going to ask the Chazin to stop singing. His voice is off. If the Jews sang like this in the desert, Moshe's prayers and calling on our forefathers to help with H' wouldn't have done a thing. Come to think of it. Nobody leading Davening at the shul would bring redemption. You are all so bad at it. I ask that you all be better Jews. There is no way a good Jew can take off weight during the summer. With late Shabbis, you are eating till 9pm Saturday night. From 11am to 9pm. That is at least four pounds of babka. Shnitzel for. A popcorn machine. And Rose finally is making good Shnitzel. So, you are eating that... Kol Hakovd Rose for finally having a decent recipe and not messing it up. A thing that somebody didn't mess up. Rose is not the reason we are living in Galut. With her amazing new Shnitzel we would be in Israel. It's the board... And then you need a Melaveh Malka. That means Saturday night pizza. If you were decent Jews, you would've put on at least eight pounds this summer. So far. And what is vegan Shnitzel? Are you even Jewish? Vegan is not Jewish. Pareve is Jewish... The idea is to bring spirituality. To be connected to the elevated Leviim. To eat more Shnitzel. This is our way of being connected to Israel, where we can't afford homes... You're poor, because you messed up your ancestor's inheritance. The Levites get nothing. Are they part of this? (Devarim 10:8-9) The Leviim are commanded to minister to H’ and carry the Aron. A spiritual bunch. “Therefore Levi doesn’t have a share and heritage with his brothers. Gd will be his heritage...” Don't worry about the Levites. Worry about famine. When you're connected to Gd, there is good. You don’t need land. The Levites are good Jews. They put on weight every Shabbat... You don't lose that heritage of Gd when you eat. If the people don’t kill everything, the Levites will be fed by the tithes. And they'll have homes based on what they receive by the people not sinning... The problem is they're connected to the people they minister to. If there's a famine and no tithing, what do the Levites eat? And this is why my contract is messed up... The military plan is to keep the Mitzvahs. It’s to not do anything stupid. That’s the plan. Mitzvahs. And it will help run Kosher Mart better too. And it will help with Davening. Keeping Mitzvahs will have you leading prayers faster, because you will think about loving your neighbor, and you will do it fast. And where is the name Kosher Mart from? Is it named after a family member?... The Levites got this. And they got their lot with H’. Because they wanted that. They didn't mess up. If you don't mess everything up, we should merit Israel and hornets. Celebrate your ancestry... And they will not eat the plaques. And get some bug spray for your kids already... Rivka's Rundown The rabbi spent half hour explaining military strategy. It came down to, pray to H' and show up to shul on time. And that leads to safe living in Israel. So heritage means you've done nothing. And that is a good thing. The redeeming lesson is that we might have a chance to not mess up things more than we have. And that is a win for our congregation. Everybody felt inspired after the sermon to not mess up more than they have. I’ve ran into some nasty Kaddish guys. Especially from the women’s section. When a woman is saying Kaddish and the woman is on tune, they can't deal with it. They They go off beat even more. These guys are vicious when it comes to leading services too. Ralph says” It’s my Minyin.” Like the guy owns the Minyin. Like he's the best guy for it. Ralph hasn't even paid dues. To be honest, everybody hates Ralph. And he runs up there. He gets there early just make it uncomfortable for the mourners to kick him off the Bima, so they can rightfully lead. Felvel has to go over to him every day. “I lost my mom.” And then Ralph gives no response. Just a nasty look. And Ralph is worse at leading than Felvel. He runs up there because nobody would ever ask him to lead Davening. No matter what, he's leading. He considers his birthday a Chiyuv. This guy always leads. After this whole violent ordeal, Michael was looking to purchase a pair fisticuffs. He was bothered that he lost his last pair of cufflinks. "Get out of here" is how the men in our services comfort the mourner. And that announcement. "Be sure to be here for your Yahrzeit so we don't have to listen to Felvel lead Davening." It was like the shul was hoping that more congregants would experience more family death. Just so that Felvel doesn't lead. It's like he's even worse than the Chazin. I think mourners should be a little selfish when mourning one's parent. It shows Kibud Av vEim, honoring parents, when you're a jerk to others, in honor of leading people for Chiyuv. Faster Davening, and not having to listen to these people lead, is the greatest Mitzvah. "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Seeing the anger expressed when other people lead, it is true. The rabbi left for the week and he still had a Dvar Torah. I think he just gets out his anger on us. It was inspired. He even threw in the how annoying Bernie is. He knew exactly where they wouldn’t shut up. The Chazin having to read his own voice is off. That hurts. Rose's new Shnitzel is amazing. I agree that she should be praised, as she is our only hope for redemption as Jews. I agree with the rabbi, our congregants have taken off weight this summer and they are thus not religious. Malkie is taking off weight. I don’t think she’s keeping Shabbis. Keeping Shabbis during the summer means ten hours of eating on Saturday. You can't take off weight sitting at a Shabbat table for that long. What else do you do with your Shabbis? Talk? While you're talking, what do you do? Eat. I never understood eating on Saturday night. After eating for fifteen hours on Shabbis you have to eat more. Are there any Mitzvahs that aren’t eating? I should ask the rabbi. When he got back, the rabbi ended up making all the vegans in the shul bring proof of Judaism. The rabbi being away, nothing changed. They all still talked during his speech. Which was really the Chazin's speech. Very confusing. Especially because in his speech he said we don't need or want a Chazin. He got back for his class later in the week because he didn't trust that the vegans were Jewish. Tags:
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I just learned you can say anything about Jews. Can't say it about anybody else. But Jews. You can blame a whole race, a whole nation, for somebody not making room for you on the sidewalk. A Mexican cuts you off, it's the Jews.
I heard The Young Turks going off on Jews. And I realized, they are so happy Hamas and the BBC have given them the green light since October 7th People heard Hamas saying how happy they were they killed Jews and your neighbor was saying, “Finally. I can say it. I hate these people. If we could just get rid of them, housing values will double.” Anti-Semites started popping up everywhere. Your neighbor, the guy you share a cubicle with, all of France. They popped up even at the circus. I went to see some acrobats and they were shooting a Jew out of the canon. The hatred is there and the world has justified it. Let me share some things you can say about Jews, but not any other people. Maybe because the other people aren't Jewish. But that's not the point. "I want to kill you. We all want you dead. Your whole people should die. Your whole people is annoying." This is fine because you're saying it about Jews. How "annoying" made its way in there. No idea. But you should be able to kill people for biting their nails. "Everybody hates you because you're Jewish. Get out of here. Jew! Nobody wants you." You can't say this about other people, because they're not Jewish. I think that's something we'll have to accept. They also haven't been kicked out of every country. If you could say this about other people it would be a lot of fun. More Massacre might be necessary. "You are murderers." How does this work? You're allowed to kill us. But when you fail, we're blamed for that?! Truth is that Jews should be blamed for all homicide. Son of Sam. Is he not Jewish with a father named Sam?... Wait. I just looked that up. David Berkowitz is Jewish. Let's move onto the next one. "You're Jewish scum. Everybody loathes you. You're hated by the world. Everybody wants you dead. You're swine." Wouldn't one of those have been enough? I think that's what Ana Kasparian of "The Young Turks" said. It did sound very nice and comforting, as it was in a soft tone. I appreciate that. Truth is, it's tone that's offensive. Anything The Young Turks say, you can say that nowadays and people are like, "That's right." It's fine for Turks to say that. And you have to empathize with them. In 1934 the Turkish government kicked out all Jews and got rid of them. And then you have to see them in America. That's not easy. That's a reason to kill them. I think we can agree with that. Canada understands. They did their job when they kept out refugees from the Holocaust . I believe the quote went, "None is too many." But that has to make you question, "Who do you murder at that point?!" "You steal land." How we steal our own land is regretful. How a Jew can live in Israel and not feel like a thief and a murder. And then some Jews have the gall to say that Israel is their homeland. Shame. Where should Jews live? Well. Not in Europe or the Middle East. Or America. I think the real problem here is Jews. "You can't drive." This isn't right. They're taking racial epithets against Asians and using it against us. You shouldn't be misappropriating hatred like that. "Cheap. Your people are cheap." It's true. Who doesn't like shopping at Marshalls. And you should hate people shopping at Marshalls. Especially people you see at the clearance rack. Because they're Jewish. Which is another reason to go to Marshalls and shop at the clearance rack. It's a good place to express your hatred of Jews. "You smell bad. You can't play basketball. Your people are the worst at badminton. The way you drink coffee is annoying." Have you ever seen my family drinking coffee with a straw, when it gets to the end of the cup?! It's annoying. "You control the media. You run Hollywood. You control the airlines." What happened to the good old days when antisemitism was positive?! When antisemitism focused on what Jews had. Those were good days. You don't want people forgetting Mein Kampf. And how many people know the sequel? A Mein Kampf sequel?! There was a public demand for more Kampf?! I think Kampf might have had some swine in there too. I think the swine part is where that book went wrong in its expression of Jew hatred. If it would've just focused on the fact that Jews run the banks, all would've been good. You know it's all in jest when you're quoting passages from Mein Kampf. "You all slaughter people. You think you're entitled and you steal our tax dollars." You need a reason to kill Jews. Otherwise, you might feel bad hearing a Jew was murdered. Even worse, if you think Jews are kind and charitable, you may not want to kill them. And that is unforgivable. And you can say it because they're Jews. "You drink Christian blood. People want to drink your blood." Let's bring the libel back up. You want this one back out there, just in case there is a chance people might start liking Matzah, and Streit's starts getting more business. And then, the Jews are also running the Matzah business. "You run the roller coaster at Six Flags." Might as well blame the Jews for that. "Slavery. Jews are the reason slavery." Might as well blame the Jews for that. "You are bad at making decisions. Jews can't choose what to order." If you say that with the right amount of hatred, you'll have a whole restaurant attacking a Jew. Maybe if you had a bit of empathy, you would realize we're bad at deciding what to order because we're cheap. It's not easy to figure out the best deal on the menu at a pizza shop. Then there's special requests. Sometimes, they're offering coleslaw, and you want a burger as the side. And then they have that part where it says, "Ask the waiter." Am I not supposed to ask the waiter? I follow rules. And what about "du jour"? What does that mean? "You say you're the chosen people. You're not even Jews." They're not even blaming us. I don't see this as antisemitism. They don't really hate us. They hate some other Jewish people. Come to think of it, this is the most offensive one. I have a right to identify as I want. This screaming at Jews and telling Jews you hate them sounds like a lot of fun. Telling a whole nation you hate them is very cathartic. I get why people like to do it. It's always good to tell people you hate them. It brings joy. It brings the world together. I want to get into some of those college protests and tell people I hate them. Or I can go to the next board meeting at my shul. Either way, I have some new things I learned about Jews that I can tell them. I did hear somebody say that all Guatemalans should die and be raped. I didn't jump on the bandwagon because they're not Jewish. And I think that would be wrong. Because they're not Jewish. I feel it is important to defend that point of view. Only Jews should be attacked. The world only needs one people to hate at a time. Tags:
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Stand-up Transcript: Israel and World Opinion – Death Tolls and The News and They Believe It7/29/2025 
Stuff is messed up and the world is against us. They're blaming us for everything. The news...
The Gazan Death Toll is now up to eight million. (pause for laugh- when no laugh make sure they know it's a joke- audience may not be educated and hate Jews and say eight million people live in Gaza- audience may be UN staff- be clear I'm mocking inflated death toll numbers when I say death toll- I wouldn't laugh at people dying Chas vShalom- one death is too much and I pray suffering ends- maybe go into speech and abandon bit- let them know I care about all life- though it may offend them let them know I'm laughing at deaths where people didn't die- maybe do group prayer before moving into bit- Psalm 121 here and they'll be ready to laugh- King David has that affect- if they think it's just a mocking the lies coming out of Gazans and the UN then continue like it was a comedy bit about what it is- maybe add joke "There were more total war tragedies on death toll by December 2024 than May 2025- and people still don't believe in resurrection") How do they come up with those numbers? "Pneumonia. Caught cough from Israeli. Another one dead. That's thirty." (pause for laughs- I think I should leave out the pausing notes) They're not very good at math. Each death is eighty on the toll. That's what you get with bad education. It happened during war, it's because of war. "We're going to miss Abu Fij. He was ninety-nine. Died in his sleep. Israelis... Tack on seventy for that one." They're blaming Israelis for COVID now. That's why Hamas wears those masks. They're worried they're going to catch COVID. (I hope I remembered to pause for laughs- maybe I should’ve left in “pause for laughs” notes) College protestors understand the seriousness of Hamas’ cause, that’s why they wear medical masks. (let them know I’m not mocking COVID- and I am not saying COVID is a terrorist organization) We've got to do better with world opinion. Americans see it on CNN, it's fact. People hear stuff on BBC. They believe it because of that accent. Hamas statement, "Twelve million dead." Proof. Twelve. He said it. I believe it's up to twelve million since we started this bit. (remember- it's about delivery- make sure to nail the punches on death toll jokes) Anchor. "Bibi built the tunnels." "You see. Told you!" "Word just in from Hamas. Israel started California wildfires." "Hollywood. Knew it." "We're reporting to you from the Temple Mount in Tel Aviv. Jews have now occupied the Temple Mount." "I told you the Jews were occupying Tel Aviv... Worse. They're protecting themselves." Protecting ourselves is now a war crime. "Patriots... Shooting those missiles." I don't think the news is on our side. Just guessing. They're throwing stuff out there. "And Israelis dropped a bomb in Japan." "They'll go for it." You can't argue anymore. They're quoting kindergartners as proof, "Three plus one Zionist devil, makes four Zionist devils." Whatever that means. Somehow math books are against us. "You see. I told you they drink blood." We've got to do better with world opinion. It's bad when they've turned you into a hateful slur. "Zionist!!!" "Yep. I believe that. I believe the Jewish homeland is the Jewish homeland. Call me crazy. If you have to, call me a Zionist. I must be an idiot, but that is the Jewish homeland, because it's the Jewish homeland." We are so bad with world opinion. We look like idiots. Hamas looks amazing. They're tacking on deaths. They've got videographers with 10K res. (POV Palestinian videographer) "Let's get him dying in the sand castle this time. The last one with his mom crying. It was good. I think we can kill him better. I think if we... Let's go for the head chop off scene again. One more take... Take death number eight for Ichmad... Got to hurry. We're only on death number nine." One kid died fourteen times. Dying once is bad enough. Can you imagine dying fourteen times... That's commitment. We can't win. This whole Pallywood thing, where they kill their own people for good action shots. They're shooting out in Sudan. Taking the Gazan stars overseas to shoot the film short about the kid dying again. This kid’s family is schepping Nachis. The pride. The kid is pulling in Pollmmy Awards for his role as "The Kid Who Died Again." "And this year’s award for best death. Will it be Ichmad for his role in dying in a building with the Hamas guy. Or will it be Ichmad in dying again because of the Zionist Devil. Or will it be Ichmad in his role as The Suicide Bomb Kid." Maybe they just can't find more actors. "And best film goes to The Suicide Bomb Kid: The Live Short Documentary." "Best supporting actress, to Fatima in Suicide Bomb Kid for her role as the girlfriend he met after he killed himself for the sixth time." It's fine. The kid is still alive. Don't worry. Ichmad is coming for his acceptance speech. "I couldn't have done it without Mrs. Kadini and her kindergarten class on the Zionist Devil who I have to kill. The cartoons about slaughtering Jews were truly inspirational." Even Biden is like, "Something is off. I may not be totally with it, but... According to my calculations, one death per person. I think..." I feel for the kids. For a kid to have to get killed fourteen times. It's abusive and wrong. I am very much against stage moms... They're pushy. Exploiting your own child like that. One guy was dead. I saw it, he was under his sheet. Lifted his sheet, mid-funeral. Folded his sheet over. Neatly. Dead people are quite tidy. He then reached up, and his friend brings him a Coke. Drinks Coke middle of his own funeral. Can you imagine being dead with a parched throat. Being dead is hard enough. One shouldn't know of such things. Another dead guy jumped off his death bed. Mid-procession. Starts running. The guy was sprinting. The most in shape dead guy I've ever seen. I think he benched three hundred eighty pounds. In shrouds. Then I saw him at another one of his own funerals. He came back to fight for his people. As he's dying, he musters the strength to smile for the camera. 10K. Smiling at his own burial. The courage that takes. I believe that was Gazan Death Toll number thirteen million and two. These people in Britain and America believe this stuff. (POV Anchor) "We have an eyewitness. Hamas tunnel commander just told us. Israelis started the Spanish Inquisition." (pause for laughs- if I said "pause for laughs" make fun of myself for being an idiot) Americans believe this. Hamas tunnel professors. We get blamed for everything. We are so bad with world opinion. We get blamed for being Jews. Just being Jews. We get blamed for that. The death toll is now up to fifteen million. They just throw numbers out there. "Forty million." It's now forty. "I said eighty. Eighty-five million. The total number of people killed in Gaza is now eighty-five million." "Ninety. We have ninety million Gazans dead." CNN. "And the Death Toll in Gaza is now up to ninety million." Nothing is good enough. They can’t just stick to one lie. “Three hundred and eighty-four million dead.” Next time let's talk about genocide. And I’m out of here. Thank you!!! (that genocide ender is a real zinger) ***See university article, bomb shelters, myths for this stuff fleshed out in different ways. Tags:
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Sermons of Rebuke V: Matos-Masai7/27/2025
Announcements
No violent greetings even if you are friends. Hellos shouldn’t hurt or injure people. And loud hugs must be kept to a minimum. Our seniors thought Zev and Nachum were fighting when they were saying "Shabbat Shalom." We are going to ask our Chazin only sings two tunes for Kedusha. Due to the use of modern songs in Kedusha, our congregants think that the lyrics to every Jewish song are “Naaritzcha vNakdishcha.” We want the new members to know that saying Hi to people is welcome in our community. We understand that you come from an area with a lot of Jews, where people like being ignored. Our shul is full of losers who like saying Hi and you’re the reason for Tisha BAv. Contemporary Halacha Class: How to Hurt People With a Shabbat Greeting. The Real Words to All the Tunes Our Chazin Steals and Uses for Naaritzcha. How to Run a Not Friendly Shul With Our New Congregants. Rabbi Mendelchem's Drasha Excerpts Shabbat Shalom My Pupils... Happy Tisha BAv everybody. It’s coming up next week. I want to enjoy it this year... How do you enjoy? You mourn with your people. Not with the people of Beis Knesses Anshei Emes uSefilah. Mourning with you all is depressing... Reuven and Gad want to stay in this land they just got. Not in Israel. The same way ya’ll love Topeka. If there was Topeka in Egypt, you would’ve asked to stay... It’s nice. OK. It’s not Israel. You don't even have a Kosher restaurant here. How can you want to stay. As a Jew??? Reuven and Gad want to stay. They have good land. They have a guy willing to open a falafel shop... They at least got permission from Gd. The verdict. (Bamidbar 32:20-22) “Moshe says to them, ‘If you do this thing, if you arm yourselves before H’ for battle. And every armed man of yours crosses the Jordan before H’, until He drives out His enemies before Him. And the Land shall be conquered before H’..." Israel’s enemies are H’s. We have to drive them out. That is part of our calling as a nation... I have driven many potential congregants out of this shul. For Gd... "This thing" means joining your nation in battle... Well. Moshe didn't have your parents. Gd didn't live by your parents' grammatical rules. Vagueness was allowed, because everybody knew what they were talking about, and they weren't annoying. And they knew Torah. Unlike you all that sit in the back left... You guys wouldn't even join a discussion about Israel. Let alone a battle... Moshe continues, "And after this you shall return. And you shall be clean from H’ and Israel, and this Land shall be a heritage for you before H’.” Only once they go in and join their people in battle, is it a heritage and connected to H’ and the Jews. When you do nothing to help your people. When the only thing you do is watch FOX News. When you don't even pay your dues... I get it. FOX News is more pro-Israel. But if you're not fighting for your people. And I know some of you fight at Kiddish over the herring... It's not holy. None of this hear is connected to H', because you don't fight for your people. And you don't even mow your lawn... At least mow your lawn. H' appreciates decent lawns... We go out and we fight on behalf of H’. That is when we can return and know that our homes are good. That we are vindicated from H’ and from Israel. It's about not having to feel guilty... When you are part of that, you can be blessed. If you are not. If you’re sitting here all relaxed with herring on Kichel, which is amazing, while those that are fighting for you are not safe, your land is not blessed. It is not a heritage. You're living in Topeka for Moshe’s sake. Gd would have probably said no to Reuven and Gad going to Topeka. You go to Topeka to run away from your people... Is it not blatant? Do I have to say the soldiers??? Of course. It’s the soldiers. Tehy are the ones that bring us blessing. Not your children... Maybe before learning, go out there with your people. Fight. At least go to the back left of the shul and tell them to stop talking. Tell Bernie to be quiet. Do something for your people. Of course I am making the point that Americans should do the army. Your people are out there fighting. Nothing gives you the right... I know you can do what you want. But Gd and the Jewish people don't like you. That shouldn't be a shock. Sadie doesn't like you either... That’s why we’re proud of the Berkstein children, who joined Tzahal... Tzahal is the IDF. They are doing the army, unlike the Finkelman children and the... Fight for your people until they are safe. Have you fought for your people. Are you connecting with your people's plight?... Other than YouTube videos... It’s all fine and dandy. It’s not, until your people are resting secure. And not helping your people is not helping Gd... Because Gd wants that. If join in our brother's fight "this Land" is ours. Is it the land on the other side of the Jordan or does "this Land" mean Israel?... I don't know. That's why I'm asking. The one time you people choose not to talk... You haven’t helped your people. You've attacked with your Hellos. That's about it. Your greetings are very violent... Truth is I'm scared to get hugged by you. They're loud, and I will get hurt... You would think our people would have Shalom amongst ourselves. Zev is still attacking people to say Hi. This is why nobody wants close friends in the shul. They even hug violently. And it’s loud. We are not meant to fight each other with greetings... If you went in and hugged Hamas, the war would be over in a second. I don’t shake your hands, because... I get you work in construction. Calm down. We know you have a good grip. Don't have to prove you've used power tools this week. We get it... Sinat Chinam, baseless hatred, was caused by people saying Hello. The Chazin’s tunes have just confused our people. I don't believe they've helped. I am getting confused by the Chazin myself. The Chazin even got to me. I started thinking that the words to "Am Yisrael Chai" and "Kol HaOlam Koolo" are "Naaritzcha..." Those are songs. Their words are not "Naartizcha." Even "Adon Olam" isn’t "Adon Olam." "Lecha Dodi" to Chumbawumba’s "Tubthumping"? Is nothing out of limits... Oh. That song is "Keitzad Mirakdim Lifnei HaKala"? I thought it was "Lecha Dodi." I even corrected them at the wedding. I told them we sing that song Friday nights. Not for the newlyweds... Because of our Chazin misappropriating every Jewish song. We need regular tunes to the songs. I even had to ask why the Beach Boys are singing "Dror Yikra"... Join the army and then you can use whatever tunes... Do that Mi Shebeiyrach for Tzahal tune for Mi Shebeiyrach for Tzahal. Not "Naaritzcha" or whatever it is. I can't say I know... We can all fight in some way for the army of H’ by being nice. By fighting for Shalom in our people. That is our fight now. That and Hamas. And Iran. And everybody on college campuses, and everybody who hates Jews, your neighbors... There are a lot of people that hate us. I didn't realize is was that many. I thought it was only had to fight against the board... I am not supporting violent Hellos. Just Hellos... If you’re not joining in this battle, if you are not there with your nation (32:23) “you will have sinned to H’, and know your sin that will find you.” This congregation found me, and I take blame for that. The new family found us... We can’t stand the new family. The Markowitzs. I have to agree. You don’t say Hi. You think it’s cool to ignore people. The one thing our congregation does is not ignore people. Our congregants get in your face, ask about your family, and make you want to kill yourself. The one positive Mayla of our membership is we know everything about you... If you’re going to be here, say Hi. at least talk... Now you talk. First time you talk to anybody, when I’m giving a sermon... I thought you were fine being snobby... You pass people and don’t say Hi. How do you expect people to take it? Reuven and Gad wanting to stay on the other side of the Jordan. How do you think our people going to battle would take it?!... It's the unfriendliness that causes a disconnect amongst our people. How can you go to battle with your brothers if you don't even say Hi to them?!... You are the reason for Tisha BAv. Lashon Hara. You cause it. It's your not telling Samantha every single thing about your kids and how your cousins are doing, at Kiddish... I understand it's easier to stay away and enjoy Shabbat, not saying Hi to the other members here. I wish I could. But I go to battle every day against the congregants here... And now the Torah can go over all the travels of the Jewish people. Now that everything is understood. That we all have to fight for our people... Nothing here is ever understood. That's why we never have shul trips. The last trip to Slide and Fun as a shul was the most horrendous display of non-unity. When Avromy knocks over Shimmy for a horse on springs... The horse doesn't move. The springs are so hard... Sinning to your people is sinning to H'. And sometimes you have to fight. Which is why I am saying that the Chazin has to calm down with his songs. And you all have to greet people correctly... Then you will be part of the nation, and not sinning like you always do... Once the battle is over, OK. You can go back to being selfish. Being congregants of Beis Knesses Anshei Emes uSefilah, singing "Naaritzcha" for every Jewish song. But when your people are fighting, you go out there. If you are with your people at those moments, you are vindicated. And I know we've fought some battles with members. And yes, they keep coming back. Some battles never end... May we all merit to be safe from congregants who ruin Kiddish, and a Chazin who ruins every Jewish song for me. And may we finally get a little Kosher restaurant here, so we can say this is Jewish. What kind of Jews have nowhere to eat... Rivka's Rundown The rabbi made everybody line up, and he coached them one by one, how to greet each other properly. In the middle of the sermon. He started with the handshake, then the look into the other person's eyes, then the part where you say "I have no idea what tune the Chazin is singing." He then held a class on greeting people correctly, according to Halacha. There was a lot of debate as to whether the greeting should be Good Shabbis, Good Shabbat or Shabbat Shalom. The rabbi squashed the debate, and said, "It's Tuesday. Just say 'Hello.'" I think the rabbi put telling Bernie to shut up on the same level of importance as fighting for the State of Israel and the Jewish people. The rabbi listed the good members of our congregation whose kids are serving in the IDF. He also listed all the kids who are in college and working as professionals, who bring no Nachis. And that included the Chazin. The rabbi wants a good Tisha BAv. He wants to enjoy it this year. He truly gets Hana’ah, enjoyment, out of mourning. Fran called 911 when she saw Nachum and Zev say "Hi." She got scared. Asked why there is gang violence in the shul. Fran said she carries her phone on Shabbat for emergencies. She said she drives her car on Shabbat for emergencies too. Just in case she has to get to the hospital, or pick up some groceries. I would put my money on it that Fran would call 911 to help with her groceries. The rabbi was saying the Beit HaMikdash was destroyed because people injured each other by saying "Hello" with too strong of a grip. I am happy I am a woman, I think a guy Hello might injure me. It does get confusing when we misappropriate every American song. Even Jewish songs. The liberal members of our congregation started holding up “We shall not misappropriate Naaritzcha songs” signs. One member held a sign saying “Give "Yankee Doodle" back to its rightful owners." There are a lot of people that hate us. The rabbi was going to say the fight is only with those close to us. Because they are very violent with how they say Hello and herring. It turned out that almost every nation hates us. Not just the members at our shul. The Markowitzs passed me without saying "Hi." We're not talking about passing my house. We're talking about in shul. Two hours after they met me, they already feel that we are close enough that they can ignore me. The rabbi gave the class on how to say hello to people. He also showed how a no look pass by might be taken as unfriendly, and might cost an invite to a Bat Mitzvah. Which is why the Markowitzs probably do it. They don't want anybody to like them. They don't want to have to go to Simchas. Tags:
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(Devarim 20:10) When waging war against a city, "propose a peaceful settlement." Which is why we have Efrat, Karnei Shomron, Chamonaim... Along with Beit El and other Yishuvim, there are not many other ideas for a peaceful settlement with those trying to kill us. And thank you for allowing me to be political with our puns today.
Shmuel says (Bava Kama 113a) Dinah Dmalchuta Dinah, “The law of the land is the law.” As such, tax evasion is Asur... Never ask your rabbi a question your accountant can answer. And this is why I don’t talk to Shmuel anymore. He will kill a decent investment. Peninei Halacha (Zemanim 8:6:2-3) says that bathing is allowed during the Three Weeks. So, no excuse for the kids in camp smelling like that. During the Nine Days we don’t remodel our homes, plant trees for shade or fragrance, or weave clothes... Things you never do, you don’t do during the Nine Days. All the sudden, we're mourning and you're thinking, "I need a new chandelier. A nice lighting fixture would've looked good in the Beit HaMikdash... Now is a good time to weave. Why have I been buying my shirts at Kohl’s? I am going to take up weaving.” I have never seen a Jew plant a tree for shade. I have never seen a Jew weave, other than my aunt who makes amazing quilts. This must be talking about hiring people. Otherwise, there is no reason for this Halacha. And I have never heard of anybody remodeling their home and telling the town they did it. There are certain things you don't tell "the land." And you don't launder clothes or wear fresh outer clothing. I've seen these kids at summer camp. They're disgusting. There is no way they’re wearing laundered clothes. Tags:
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Israel has messed up with world opinion. We get blamed for everything. We've got to garner better. We're garnering nothing. Ungarnered. (pause for laughs- because a Seinfeld voice was used)
Something is wrong. We're getting blamed for Hamas! (pause for laughs) Hamas shoots their people for trying to eat. It's Jews. (pause for laughter) They slaughter babies and somehow "Israel's at it again." (pause for laughs- this should get a huge one) We give birth to Gazans. We get blamed. (not sure if there is a pause or not- pause after each of the next ones) Wildfires? Jews. Hurricane Milton? Jews. Stub toe? It's the Jews. (POV toe getting jammed) “The Israelis. How did that chair get there?! It was the Zionists!” Milton??? Jewish. You're going to tell me Milton not Jewish?! (pause- see what happens- gauge audience- maybe the death and murder comedy flow tickle the funny bone here) How are we looking bad?! (make sure I'm performing with my Yarmulke - so they can associate me as the one to blame me for the atrocities) They have cartoons about how to kill the Jewish devil. Their kindergartners are blaming us. (pause for laughs- maybe just leave the "pause for laughs" out of the script- pause for laughs after each sentence- that should be understood) Cartoons of suicide bombers. We're getting blamed for animation. The Simpsons. That's our fault. (pause for laughs- I needed that there, as I don't want to forget to pause) We're blamed for educating kids to kill us. What society pushes propaganda on kids to kill them? Israel's Ministry of Education is putting out curriculum, "If two Zionists are killed by a preschooler, how many Zionist devils have you killed?" Israel's Ministry cares about these kids and their schooling. You want them to develop a good base in mathematics. Something they can connect to. Like killing Jews. I can understand a society educating kids to blow themselves up. (nuanced line- make sure sarcasm is understood- leave this line out if people are on the spectrum- if they are LGBTQ+ supporters they will empathize with this sentiment in support of Palestinian education and culture) That guy's like, "I didn't kill anybody." Don't worry. If it's a Zionist, you're OK. Murder. Rape. And somehow we look bad. This is dark. There must be a reason not many comedians go for the rape zingers. (maybe don't pause here- depends on the crowd- if they're feminists they might might be on the floor here) We're getting blamed for everything. Bibi is somehow behind every... "Bibi. Free the hostages." Bibi is now hiding the hostages in his mansion. Somehow, he's leading Hamas. There’s a leak in a tunnel. "Somebody get Bibi. What's with this guy?! How does he expect us to watch hostages in these conditions?!" "Bibi is ruining Gazan elementary schools. Him and his new idea of not killing Zionist devils. This guy is crazy. Murderer!!!" Suicide bombing, that’s on us. How?! "Another Palestinian dead. You see." And that's another eighty on the Gazan Death Toll report. (pause for laughs- don't say "pause for laughs"- just pause) Is suicide bombers a better topic? I'm not good at choosing topics for humor. My bit about child abuse didn't go over last week. I was thinking about fast food. But that doesn't tickle the funny bone nowadays like torturing Jews. Americans believe this stuff. (POV American) "It's the Gazans' truth." This is "their truth" as fact. "You're judgmental." Nothing is worse than being judgmental. You can slaughter innocent children... Don't be judgmental. I can't win that argument. "You're being very judgmental. It's not right to fight people, just because they're trying to torture and rape you. Eating dinner while gouging out eyes. That's just what they do. Slicing off limbs is Gazan culture. You shouldn't judge." (pause to see if people leave- know the audience to see if the sarcasm catches them here) Raid on Entebbe. Our fault. "Why do you think that happened? Because Jews were on the flight. Jews aren't flying, that's not happening." They’re even mad at the Iron dome. "The patriots?! And you say Israel isn’t shooting missiles?!" "They're shooting those patriots all the time. Daily." “You remember when it was so much easier to kill the Jews.” “I miss those days. Didn't have to drain resources.” "And now they're making a big stink about hostages... Who cares? They're Jewish. Exactly." Now that's better comedy. Not as dark. If you're not laughing, it's because of Bibi. I don't mean to offend. I don't think rape is fine. I might be wrong here. But I don't associate with the feminist movement. ***See university article, bomb shelters, myths for this stuff fleshed out in different ways. And check out next Stand-up Transcript for more on death tolls and how Jews are the reason for everything, including the bad Easter chocolate eggs that come with nothing on the inside. And the reason kids choke on toys when eating Kinder. Tags:
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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XLVII7/16/2025
Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about the Siddur holders at shul and people who love Israel, while supporting the idea of Jews not being happy with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his new diet technique of using a spoon that is too small to hold food.
The plastic Jewish diet spoon. I got it from the caterer who didn’t have enough cake. The spoon did make the souffle look bigger... Since using it for breakfast, I've taken off a lot of weight. I have noticed it now takes longer to eat cereal. And most of the time, the Golden Grahams fall off the spoon, helping with more weight loss. A quite utilitarian utensil. That other spoon is the old spoon I used to use. It held the cereal and I ate. I'm not going to use that again.
Flying back to Israel now, during these times of war, and our people are celebrating. It’s always been hard to sleep flying with Israelis... I think that steward got fired for loving Israel too much. Loving Israel can keep people up on a long flight... Worst advertisement for Arkia, "Our staff loves Israel." That's going to be a very happy flight. Now I'm sitting next to somebody who wants to dance the Hora.
New shul seat construction and the reason I can’t sit in shul... They made the Shtender just small enough so the guy’s Siddur is smacking me in the back of my head all Davening.
We've got to make it look worse on social media when bombs are raining down on us. Make it look like we're having it hard... Singing “Od Yoter Tov,” “Avinu SheBaShamaim” and “Kol HaOlam Koolo.” People think we’re loving the rockets aimed at us. This is why people think we have it good. We're the only people who go into bomb shelters for a party. Palestinians look like they're starving, eating corned beef sandwiches with Greta Thunberg. Jews look like they're having a ball, sleeping in bomb shelters, missiles raining down on them, having overnight disco parties. They're loving it. Asking, "When are Hamas and Hizbullah attacking next? I’ve got nothing going on tonight. Why is nobody hanging out at the bomb shelter? Why has Iran stopped?" When asked in the future, these kids are going to say, "The best memories of my childhood were getting shot at. We danced. We sang. When Iran was trying to blow us up, that was so much fun." And they're going to mean it... Point is. Enjoy every moment. Just don't let the world know we're a happy people... I am sorry about that guy with his shirt off. I don't believe that he was the guy people were asking to take off his shirt.
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Many people don’t know this, but the Beit HaMikdash has not been rebuilt because of people not sharing sidewalks.
It's almost Tisha BAv, and we are coming on the Three Weeks. It's time we look at bettering our community and ourselves, so we can rebuild the Temple. And the only way we can do this is with politicians.
To rebuild the Beit Hamikdash we could focus on construction. But let's not. That takes a lot of effort. It's easier to work on our Midot, our character traits. And for that, we look to our politicians. As they are our moral compass. We are a society based on Halacha and Dina DMalchuta Dina. The law of the land is the law, and we know many Members of Knesset are not following Halacha. So, we need bills. We need to get along, as this is the reason it’s taken so long to rebuild the Temple. With Sinat Chinam, baseless hatred, nobody agrees on the plans. It’s like a committee. And we know committees don’t help. To promote love and getting along, I propose yet another Israeli bill for change in Jerusalem. BILL 5 - Give People Room on the Sidewalk to Pass Note About Bill for Members of Knesset: This one was created right after Shabbat, when a guy and his kids wouldn’t move. They were standing in the middle of the sidewalk. If there would have been bills passed to lock these people up, I would not have to have written this bill. People like this, who walk on sidewalks should be locked up. Prison is the only place for them. Act Be courteous. Jerusalem doesn't have that much room. Since the destruction of the Temples people have been complaining about space in Jerusalem. This falls under the same bills that require one to not cut people in line, or move into the turning lane at the end, when I am sitting in traffic for fifteen minutes. This may also fall under the "do your shopping before you put your cart on line" act, so that I don’t have to stare at your cart wondering why you're still shopping while your cart is on line. Again, wondering where you are. Also known as the "why are they bringing two items at a time to their cart, which I am waiting behind, because I finished my shopping" bill. Also known as the "it is not my job to stand on line and guard your spot" bill. Also known as the "I can't stand you" bill. Problem a) People do not share. b) They don’t move aside for anybody, as that would make them a fryer. And fryers are good people, because they allow me to use the sidewalk too. c) I have to walk down the sidewalk sideways, balancing myself on the curb. This is due to my American, non-Middle Eastern upbringing, which dictates that being giving to others is something positive. They told me growing up that being courteous doesn’t makes you a "Gever." Which is why Americans are falling behind. The education system in America is messed up. d) People think that if they take up the sidewalk, it is theirs. Being the high taxation rate, they believe they have already purchased it. Which means my taxes are not at work. e) They're using baby carriages as an attack mechanism. They're taking full ownership of the sidewalks with strollers. And it is hard to knock over a baby in full conscience. But it is not impossible. In Tel Aviv, they're using dogs. Either way, these things are in strollers. e) Other people might have jobs too. They need to use the sidewalk and street to get to those places. I'm not promoting employment. But we have to deal with the mistakes of capitalism. f) The Temple has not been rebuilt, and thus there is less room in Jerusalem. Ask the rabbis of the Mishna to explain. Pirkei Avot teaches that nobody complained about space in Jerusalem during the times of the Temple. Which means that they didn’t have Chol HaMoed Sukkot traffic on Highway One. Solution a) Share. Have a course on how to not be a jerk. Just like traffic school, you have "don’t be a jerk" school. Also known as "don't be you" school, you teach the jerks about neighbors, and how they are people that live near you. You teach them to say hello and to not leave their garbage in the hallway, in front of their neighbor’s door. To practice, you sit people next to each other in a movie theater until they learn to share the armrest. b) No couples holding hands, unless if they are willing to walk sideways while passing me. Just because you are a couple does not mean that you have more rights to space. Whatever happened to Israeli dance techniques and maneuvers. I accept your affection, if you are willing to hold my hand too. Either hold my hand or Mayim Mayim BSason bridge dance with me. Make the bridge so people can go under, and let us all enjoy our day. Make others feel part of the love, and let us take up the sidewalk together in a Jewish London Bridge is Falling Down. c) Have Gan (nursery school) teachers on patrol, and have them teach people to share. We can start with LEGO. The really big ones. Otherwise, these people will be placing the tiny LEGO all over the sidewalk, just to watch people kill their feet. And stop teaching musical chairs. It teaches bad Midot. We should be teaching kids to offer a chair when the music stops. d) Courtesy. Teach people to turn sideways. If somebody is coming towards you on the sidewalk, shift a little. At least shuffle the legs and make it look like you tried. Maybe a shoulder tuck, which gives an centimeter to the oncoming. e) If none of this works… Teach Americans to not be pansies, and to stop complaining about every little thing. Toughen up. No crying just because you're not from the Middle East. It’s an act of weakness to give up any of the sidewalk and to not walk straight ahead. Don't be afraid to knock over elderly people. If they're ninety and can't handle it, it's time they grew up. h) Be a decent person. Do unto others as you would want done to you. You see somebody walking down the sidewalk, hail a cab for them. Scratch the backside of their ear for them. Follow them home and do their dishes. i) Lock them up. Anybody who does not make room for me, put in jail. This will get the Temple rebuilt. Backup Solution More space. Jerusalem needs more room. At least until we rebuild the Beit Hamikdash and there are better roads to the Old City. Tags:
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Bomb Shelter Activities6/18/2025 
People seem to be enjoying the bomb shelters too much.
Everybody should be safe. And this war should end soon. Israel should be surrounded by peace. And all evil wiped out from this world. I hope I didn't offend anybody with my lack of support for people wanting to kill Jews.
With that in mind, I've seen the resilience of our people, and how they have not let bomb shelters slow them down, or bring them down. They have done this by keeping active. Here are some activities I've seen our people doing in the bomb shelters and other ideas to help you get by. Sing. Singing is a great activity. And bomb shelters have great acoustics. If there's one really good bomb shelter feature, it's that you sound real good. Better than you do in a shower. Which is why bomb shelters never have areas to bathe. Don't stop singing for anything. Siren, bomb, not showering for three days, sing. When bombs are hurled at your home, you celebrate. Ballistic missiles fired at you should not stop a decent Niggun. That family that lost their house was still singing. Dad was sitting at his piano. He didn't even realize the place blew up. Why? He was singing. "Acheinu" is quite meditative. You get into that on your piano, you don't realize you've been hit. You get into a NayNayNay trance, you don't hear the bomb going off in the kitchen. Kabbalat Shabbat. You're there anyways. You have another chance to sing. Go for it. Schoolwork. The bomb shelter is where your kids have to do schoolwork. I can assure you that school is out. Any excuse to cancel school, it will happen. Teachers have a chance to not have to teach your kids, they will not teach your kids. Epidemics, war, price of cottage cheese going up, school is out. Weather outside over eighty degrees Fahrenheit school is out. Hence, school is out for the summer too. This is why a lot of people who grew up in the Southern United States are not well educated. Teachers love epidemics and wars. They don't even hear war. They hear Zoom and sunbathing. Fight with your siblings. That's a good activity. Something to do. Board games are also fun. That will lead to a fight. Sleep. Try to sleep. You may need to ask the kids to leave the bomb shelter for this to happen. Post on social media. Do not miss a chance to look good online. Bomb shelter pictures will get some likes. Ma'amad family portraits makes the bombings worth it. Just make sure you're all smiling. Nobody wants to see bunker selfies with you looking all down. You won't get as many likes as you did for your family vacation pictures in the Bahamas, swimming. But people will like it. I'm getting the feeling that giving a thumbs up to some of the bomb shelter posts is giving people the wrong idea. When scrolling posts, I am going to start giving that heart hugger. Community bomb shelters can be fun. Fart and then look at people's faces. I am sorry. I had to. I'm just throwing out ideas to bring some joy to the bomb shelter living. Or just look at people's faces after having to smell you. This is most fun when in a bomb shelter for a few days. Family bonding. Another way of saying the kids are fighting. Pray. Pray a lot. Tehillim is always good. As long as it's Hebrew and you don't understand it. Nachlaot in Jerusalem learned from previous Intifadas. They found themselves Davening in a bomb shelter and decided to make it their shul. Dance. Jews seem to like dancing in these shelters. If you're in a bomb shelter, party. We're always dancing. Bombings, bomb shelters, football matches, on flights, army bases, in tanks, middle of attacks, we are dancing. House blows up, we're dancing. Singing and dancing. Maybe we should slow down on the dancing. People are getting the wrong idea from much of what everybody's posting. They see everybody singing and dancing in the bomb shelters and they think we love it. Israel loves getting shelled. For world opinion, we need to be in there crying, not singing the "We Will Not Fear" song. Especially with that happy jump dance they do everywhere. Palestinians look like they're starving, eating corned beef sandwiches with Greta Thunberg. Jews look like they're having a ball, sleeping in bomb shelters, missiles raining down on them, having overnight disco parties. Iran is saying, “What have we done? Look. They’re loving it.” Dance. Just don't post it. We look like a messed up society of people who love having rockets aimed at us. Point is, enjoy every moment. Just don’t let other people know we’re a happy people. Nobody supports happy people. Happy people are aggressors. In one bomb shelter they had a unicycle, guy on a tightrope and a woman flipping trapeze style. Bomb shelter carnivals are generally a bit much for most Ma'amads. Some outside activities are not meant to be done in ten square foot settings with eighty people. Juggling fire is one of them. But they did it. Point is, do not let war get in the way of your fun. Workout. That's what my nephew is doing. Forget about war, he's worried he might lose some mass. It’s what the bombs are going to do to his bench press. We’ve truly got to slow down on the fun. At least posting it. These Jew haters around the world truly think we love getting bombed. Give a Shiur. That's a great way to end the party. Talk politics. That's even a better way to end a party. Share your opinions. That's a much better way to end a party. That will get everybody mad. Shares memes of Bibi and the Ayatollah. Answer the phone. The in-laws will keep you active, answering the phone a good three times an hour. They will help keep your mind off the attacks by asking you if bombs are going off in your building. They're worried in America. They want to know you're also having an anxiety attack. Get your mind off what’s going on in Israel and your bunker living, and focus on the people who are truly suffering right now. Your in-laws in America didn’t sleep last night. Think about them and what they're going through, sitting in their home, watching Fox. Side note. It would be appreciated if Fox News only showed the Israelis dancing in the bomb shelters, for the in-laws. News. Watch the news to remind yourself that they're shooting at you. Just in case you haven't heard from the in-laws in a few hours. Start a sit in. If you're in the bomb shelter long enough, you're already doing it. Give it a cause. Maybe say you're protesting teachers who don't work. I love that our people keep happy no matter what. Keep on dancing. Maybe just don't post it. Don't post everything on social media. With all the singing, dancing and acrobatics, people are starting to think we enjoy being locked up in a shelter. Like we're enjoying the missiles and shrapnel aimed right at us. We have to make things look worse. Otherwise, world opinion will never be on our side. We have to find a way to make it look like we don't enjoy running to bomb shelters. And sing some more. It keeps people from sleeping. I hope this will help you bring more happiness and joy to your bomb shelter. Whatever the case, we've got to start recording in these Ma'amads. With the acoustics, great sound. ***Please note. The Kibbitzer Magazine takes no responsibility for David and his messed up ideas. We received one response from a concerned reader. It read: "Enjoying the bomb shelter???! What is wrong with this guy? Is he an idiot?! I understand a piano and a good 'Acheinu,' but dance parties?!" David's response was, "They look like a lot of fun and a good place Daven." Tags:
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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XLVI6/16/2025
Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about the shul trying to raise money, and Shwarma made by Yashki, while waking people who are trying to sleep at Costco with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for expressing his concern about people getting too excited, burning themselves, instead of waiting for sunflower seeds.
I always wondered why Costco had those chairs out… I couldn’t fit him in the cart. Though, I tried. Didn’t know if he was part of a promotional sale… I do hope I didn’t wake him with my shopping. It’s a Chutzpah that they leave on the lights like that.
My shul will find a way to put a plaque on it.
That means somebody did it. I thought I would translate the sign for you. People are willing to burn themselves for a decent hot seed... When eating Garenim, safety comes first at Bingo Supermarket in America… Based on experience, people will risk their hands for Israeli style sunflower seeds. It’s very exciting to see the seeds on a belt, especially in America… In Israel, people see sunflower seeds coming out, they risk appendages. And in Israel, the healthcare system doesn’t worry about limbs that much. They have too much other stuff to worry about… And then to take chances waiting for the seeds to come out of the oven is not a good idea. If you wait till they’re out of the machine, the Pitzuchim may be gone… My next Patent: Sunflower seed shopping glove, for people who don’t like to wait for seeds in the shuk. The gloves will work for almonds as well. I thought it was important to make that clear. Thank you.
Tel Aviv shawarma is heavenly… If Yashki made the shawarma, it’s got to be good. If he can do that stuff with water, I’m sure he can do miracles with lamb on a skewer. “Our shawarma is heavenly” should be the slogan. I think we can all agree on that, no matter your religion. For those trying to figure out the location, please note, "Frishman" is not a deity. And that’s not Jesus’ motorcycle.
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(Peninei Halacha, Zemanim 4:5:1-4) It’s a Mitzvah to celebrate when we were saved, like on Yom HaAtzmaut, or when we got out of shul early. You have to celebrate the gifts from Gd. And not having to hear a sermon is one of them... This is why we celebrate Chanukah and Purim. There were no sermons or Chazins on Chanukah and Purim, and we were saved. At least there was no singing in my shul until some of these guys decided that it would be a good idea to pull out a guitar for Hallel.
We celebrate being saved from Mitzrayim, from slavery. Kal vChomer, even more so we must rejoice when we are saved from death. And I sometimes feel the need to hurt a Chazin who goes too long. Hence, we should celebrate getting out of shul early. And that’s how we Halacha is developed. And that’s how drinking schnapps at Kiddish started. The Chatam Sofer (Yoreh De'ah 233) wouldn't do Lag Bomer parties as there are no new Yom Tovs after the destruction of the Temple. And that’s why birthdays in the Chatam Sofer's house were depressing. The kids were sitting on the floor waiting to build the Third Beit Hamikdash so they could get a decent cake with a number on it. Some of the grandchildren are still waiting to celebrate being ten. Though, he did say that those who celebrate Lag Bomer with pure intention will be blessed, which now makes it confusing. And I'm stuck between the two, celebrating in an unhappy way. And I'm now trying to light fires with pure intention, which has people worried. (Shemot 21:15, 17) Cursing one’s parents is punishable by death. So don’t drive behind your mom or dad when they get older. Old people drive slow. You’re allowed to beep your parents, as long as there is no curse behind the beep. And don’t work for your dad. It’s natural to curse anybody that makes you work. And don't help with chores around the house. That leads to cursing. You take out the garbage to honor your parents, and the next thing you know, you're cursing them for giving you a beautiful life. Jerusalem wasn’t given to a tribe in the times of Yehoshua. It was for all the tribes. Now, the Churches own a good half the land, representing the Christian tribes of Greece, Armenia and Rome. I don't think they were mentioned in the Torah, which must be how they got a great deal on it. Either that or by murder. Which is a great way to save money... The Jewish tribes are sticking to the Halacha and still don't own it, and thus Jews pay a very high rent, known as mortgage. And they are going to heaven broke. How mortgage is rent is something even I can't explain. It's one of the many miracles of Yerushalayim. That, and the guy at the Shuk still yelling the price of Rugulach, when he has a sign saying "25nis" right there. Tags:
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Circle Dancing at the Kotel – On the Bridge with My Brothers: Adventures of Mikakel Kaleekaku6/4/2025 
That will definitely disturb my Davening. Happy people have a way of getting in the way of Kavanah.
We didn’t finish the story. We started it. We continued it. We’re still going. Maybe you want to catch up and read how I got stuck at the Kotel last week. Now, I'm still stuck. And this is all happening "during these times."
I finished Davening and I got pulled into the circle again. It was now 7am. Still there. I didn’t get sleep. You can't sleep when people are singing "Kol HaOlam Koolo," "All the whole world is a very narrow bridge..." You can't go home when people are singing "Kol HaOlam Koolo." It's rude. You leave and you're offending everybody. You're offending all the whole world. Singing Continues After Your Pray I prayed. I was fulfilled. As I got back to the Kotel Plaza, I was drawn back into this Kol HaOlam Koolo Circle. I couldn't resist the ring of unity. Even more now. I couldn't move. Unity had made it impossible to move. They thought my walking backwards, away from The Wall, was a dance move. So, they pulled me into the circle again. I don't know where the traditional Jewish yank of the arm to express togetherness comes from. Nonetheless, it does cause injury, which unity can do. By this time, my arms were hurting. I was going to have to see a doctor to wedge my shoulders back in their proper sockets. Due to the lateness, all had slowed down. We were back on the Narrow Bridge. You could feel the Ahava. The love. It might have been sweat left over from Tzachi's Hora dancing. It might have been people's inability to move due to the hour and tiredness. It might have been the heat. Whatever it was, you felt the love on your clothes. Holding Hands In the Moment When you're in love, you hold hands. And we were now one people, in Ahava. Holding hands with the whole of your people feels real good, unless if they just wiped off sweat from their forehead and grabbed you. We held hands and danced. Again, The Kol HaOlam Koolo Circle had turned into a stand still. It was a very spiritual dance and I embraced the love. At this point, I had no choice. I had no idea where we were going. Are we going right or left. It was a forward and backward movement. So, I stayed in the same spot with my people. The only thing that moves slower than a circle is a one step forward one step back movement. And we finished that song, "The main thing is to not fear. Not to fear at all." I was worried I would get fired. There was no way I was going to make it to work. But that song comforted me. I closed my eyes. That's how I know I was connecting with H'. When I close my eyes, I'm connecting with Gd. Sometimes, I'm sleeping. Sometimes there's just a lot of sun. I think I was connecting with Gd. Connecting with Gd and my people. And Now "Acheinu" All the sudden, we went into "Acheinu," "Our Brothers," and I started bawling on the narrow bridge. Tears started flowing. Who could ask for anything better. What's better than not moving back and forth with your eyes closed, and now tears?! Nothing. It's euphoric. Only thing that would've made it better is a good sneeze. Something about that song about being brothers, while holding my brothers (could be narrow bridges- however you call your people), right after singing "Kol HaOlam Koolo" opens the heaven's floodgates of tears on my face. And it was during these times that all of this happened. The whole Kotel, including the women's section. "Acheinu." Maybe they didn't understand the words. Maybe "brothers" also means sisters. Hebrew is confusing like that. "Acheinu" had made its way into the circle lexicon, rivaling "Kol HaOlom Koolo." I didn't know this. I thought "Acheinu" only made it into the shuls. It moves slower than the "Jerusalem of Gold" Dance, yet it unifies us all the same in a circle enveloped by love and warmth and sweat. I haven't felt this unified with my people since I Davened Shacharit against the request of the stewardess on an ELAL flight. The Sun Is Rising The sun is about to come up. I don't have my Tefillin and my phone battery ran out. If there is ever a time to lose faith in mankind, it's when your phone dies. And with the death of Samsung, I lost faith in my people. After love comes frustration. It is during this time of unity and singing "Acheinu," "Our Brothers" with sisters, that you should try to not curse out your people. Lfum Tzara Agra. According to the pain is the reward. I was going to make it home. I made it to The Wall. I could make it home too. With the goal of celebrating Yom Yerushalayim during these times, I realized I was going to have to skip work. And so, I sang and I cried, and I got fired. Final Conclusion I embraced my people. Once I let everything go, I embraced "Acheinu," which went on for another couple hours. "Acheinu" lasts a long time when another inspired individual starts singing it again. You think the song is over when you say "on dry land," and then an inspired individual with eyes closed, goes into "Acheinu." Again. Song is not finished for him, and it is now not finished for the rest of us. The meaning of the Kol HaOlam Koolo Circle. It's the dancing in the face of history. We are joyful. We have no fear. And one guy started singing "Not to fear, from flesh and blood." That said it all during these times. And then I heard, "Not to fear at all, from flesh and blood or college students." And then, as "Acheinu" died down and all inspiration was lost, after ten hours of dancing, at 7am, the people started going crazy and doing this Israeli jump dance. Still in one spot. And so I joined my people in jumping and I ended up disturbing other people who were trying to Daven. Maybe somebody they’ll understand that Davening is best done in Kol HaOlam circle form. I saw that forward backward movement at a Tish, around the rebbe's table, the following Shabbat. It turns out they'd just made it back from the Kotel. The Chassidim got caught in the Yom Yerushalayim Kol HaOlam Koolo Circle and couldn’t break out of it either. "Dance with your people." My rabbi was right, even if he's a heretic who celebrates Jerusalem Day. I remember now. It was this same unity of the Kol HaOlam Koolo Circle that joined us together on Tisha BAv last year. Gishmak. I can't wait for Tisha BAv. Love that day. Such good times. I stayed in Jerusalem for Shavuot. By the time I got home from Yom Yerushalayim, I didn’t have enough time to pack and head to my cousins for the Chag. Kol HaOlam Koolo Circles will change your plans. And then I saw the picture of the soldiers looking up at the Kotel for the first time, ending The Six Day War. The blowing of the Shofar. I knew, this is what today is about. This is what Shavuot is about. This is what Hoshana Rabbah is about. This is what Tisha BAv is about. This is what our pilgrimage festivals, our Chagim, are about. It's about not getting any sleep. The soldiers definitely stayed up all night. Tags:
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Let us continue the Yom Yerushalayim dancing we were talking about yesterday. It's just a meaningful story. No Torah. But there is dancing, and the Kotel. So, it's meaningful.
Kol HaOlam Koolo or Davening During These Times The Kol HaOlam Koolo (Whole World) Circle began and I was in it. Once you're in the circle of unity, you feel the unity and you're not leaving it. Unity takes up a lot of room in a very small space. It's very hard to maneuver around unity. Not being able to move is very unifying. "The whole world is a narrow bridge" and I was on that bridge with my people. You sing those words, especially during these times and you feel the unity. The unity of our people, packed together, making it very hard to get to The Wall. During These Times "During these times" is what you say when you're talking about bad stuff. I learned that from my Israeli rabbis. It's always "During these times." It's never "In these times." In these times things are not that bad. It's during these times that something is very wrong. Nothing good has ever happened during these times. "In these times" all is fine and dandy. "During those times" is not bad. During those times, they had flower petals on beds and unicorns. Things are always bad during these times. It's been "during these times" in Israel for a very long time. When you sing about a narrow bridge, it somehow all makes sense. These times makes a lot of sense. And there I was, touching and swaying many narrow bridges. It was hours of narrow bridges. Greater than any Tefillah. It was Achdut, unity and a narrow bridge. Too narrow to make it to the Kotel. Perfect for crowd surfing. Which would've helped me get to the Kotel sooner. I needed to be part of my people during these times. That was my only choice. I had to dance with my people. I was stuck. Why would anybody want to leave a narrow bridge during these times?! It was during these times that I am talking. I've never heard a good Frum Jew talking about in these times. Such a merit. A Zechus. I have to tell my rebbe. I was at the Kotel on Yom Yerushalayim during these times. Still In the Circle We stayed in a circle. There was nowhere to go. We were at the Kotel already. The Kotel Plaza. Then, all the sudden, the Kol HaOlam Koolo Circle turned into a Hora. Movement was faster and I side-danced with the circle till I could break to the Kotel side. I had to time the angle on the Kotel side of the circle. There was some Hora back-stepping, which impeded my sideways progress. Nonetheless, I finally got to The Wall side. It was on this Yom Yerushalayim that I felt the beginning of redemption, the hand holding, the circle. That is how we dance: circle, sometimes get the middle cypher going, one hand hold kick and switch the kick. The idea is to touch the guy next to you. I Finally Made it to the Kotel I finally made it to the Kotel, side-stepping with the Hora. I'd practiced this move on Friday nights, trying to make it to The Wall during a Carlebach Minyin. You dance with them and at the 180 degree point, you separate from the circle and join the next circle. A circlized mixer dance. Some men have a very tight grip, developed from years of Tish dancing. Yet, I made it to The Wall after pinching one of the guys hands to get out of his vise grip. I was worried I would never make it. Yet, once they moved into Hora and Shwekey songs, it started to move. Hora circles move. Sometimes they move backwards, but they still move. The singing did disturb my Davening (prayers) and I did tell them to stop singing for a few minutes, so I could focus on my Amidah silent prayer. It turned out that my voice was not heard by the nation at the Kotel. So, I Davened. I was not willing to part with tradition. Then I remembered, I like dancing during Davening. Which is hard to do during the Amidah, where I have to keep my feet in place. So, I started swaying. Known as Shuckling, one could not tell if I was dancing or Davening to "Hava Nagilah." I Finished Davening and My People Kept Going I thought I was done after Davening. I had finished the journey. I did what my rebbe wanted. I danced to the Kotel with my people and prayed. It was meaningful. I had united. What now?! After I Davened, or danced- I don't remember which one- I meant to pray to Gd- there was definitely dancing, I heard them back on the "Kol HaOlam Koolo." The Hora can only last so long. After 3:30am it's hard to keep the Hora energy up. Even the young people decided to join the Kol HaOlam Koolo Circle. I was trying to figure out how to get past the circle before 6am. I had work that morning, and I did not have a car, or the ability to beep at people who were celebrating. As I was leaving the packed Kotel wall, I walked backwards in deference to the holiness of the place and to make it easier to look like I didn't mean to knock over the people I was walking into. You actually move faster that way. When you walk backwards and you injure people at the Kotel, you get out of there faster, and they forgive the action as religious duty. I got past a few people, walking over them. I was ready to continue Yom Yerushalayim with sleep. Singing Kept Me I couldn't continue walking backwards from the Kotel. The unity drew me in. This time my heart was open. Without a need to go to The Wall, I found myself holding hands with my nation. Finally, back in the Old City of Jerusalem, celebrating Yom Yerushalayim, all different types of Jews defined by their Kippas. Kippot Srugot (knitted yarmulkes) Jews, satin and velvet Yarmulke Jews, known as Charedim, soldiers, Sherut Leumi, kids, adults. All heretics. None of them looked like me. If they learned from my rabbi, they might not have been heretics. Nonetheless, they were all my people and not one of the heretics was rebuking another. One people with this new heretical form of Davening, singing "Kol HaOLam Koolo" and dancing real slow, with smiles, taking over the Kotel. During these times, nobody attacked my people, asides from myself trying to get out of the Kotel. Conclusion It's all more meaningful during these times. Being with my people, unifying in song during these times. Unity doesn't move. Unity keeps our people together. Unity had me Davening with a bunch of heretics. Unity keeps us rooted in the past. Unity keeps us from running. Unity keeps us from getting home and stops buses from getting out of the Old City. Unity keeps people from waking up for work. Unity ruins my Kavanah. Unity makes Davening meaningful. Unity is a Kol HaOlam Koolo Circle. It is being together in Yerushalayim. That's what the holiday is about. It's not about getting anywhere. It's about being there. At least that makes me feel better about not moving very far and skipping work the next day. Note: “Singing ‘Kol HaOlam Koolo’ and dancing real slow” has a nice ring to it. Tags:
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The side to side jump dance used at all Israeli functions. Weddings, sporting events, protests. You can tell this was in celebration as there is no soccer ball and nobody is holding a sign.
I went to the Kotel for Yom Yerushalayim, Jerusalem Day. I hope I didn't do anything Asur. I hope celebrating Jerusalem as a Jew isn't forbidden according to Halacha. I don't know. Some of my rabbis seem to not be big fans of the whole Six Day War and reclaiming Jerusalem. I just want to do the right thing. If it was celebrating Brooklyn, a Brooklyn Day, I would feel connected to my people. The Halacha would be clear. A decent deli and a corned beef on rye is something we have celebrated as a Jewish people. I'm still getting used to Yerushalayim and shawarma. Anyways, I celebrated Yom Yerushalayim with a Reuben sandwich.
Shavuot is a pilgrimage festival and it's coming up, and that's another question I'm discussing with my rabbi. I'm now in Yerushalayim and it's going to be hard for me to make it to Brooklyn for the Chag. Background to My First Kotel Dance It used to be the Koysel. Now I'm calling it the Kotel. What's happened to me. I'm not even Frum anymore. I might as well accept it. Shavuot. Now I'm going to the Kotel for Shavuot. Not even Shavuis. I remember my first Friday night dance at the Kotel. It was the Kabbalat Shabbat service and the Yeshiva Bachurs got sick of Davening. So they started singing. Then they started singing stuff that wasn't even words. A Nay Nay Nay thing. Then they put down their Siddurs, started dancing. I didn't want to join them in their protest, as I was fine praying. But they pulled me in. And then I heard they were dancing in service of Gd. So, I joined them. It's definitely easier to focus on Tefillah without the prayers. It was a very aggressive form of Kiruv. When I became religious, many people were trying to help bring me closer to Gd. Nobody ever pulled me physically or yanked me to be a better a Jew. The Jewish dance circle was a very violent form of Kiruv. I'd heard about what they call NCSY youth advisors who have injured many high school kids' arms by pulling them into what they called "Pre-Shabbat Ruach Circles," but I never had a shoulder pulled out of my socket for the sake of Gd before. At first I didn't like this dancing in lieu of Davening. But then I got used to not praying and I started going to the Kotel to dance on Friday nights. I have now danced at the Kotel many of times since I became religious, to get out of having to Daven. But Yom Yerushalayim is the holiday of Jerusalem, and we were celebrating Jerusalem. I did not know what to be prepared for. I had no idea what to expect. I came with extra shoulder protection, a sling, and knee guards just in case. My Rabbi Said to Go "It's Yom Yerushalayim" I was trying to make my way to the Kotel, the iconic spot of the Six Day War. My rabbi told me go. It turns out my rabbi is a Zionist. If I would've known that in advance, I would've learned somewhere else and found another rabbi. I would've probably went to learn in Poland. Now, I'm a Charedi who's saying Hallel on Yom Yerushalayim with a Bracha. The only Charedi who celebrates Shavuot. I should've known. My rabbi was wearing Techeilet. Only Zionist rabbis have the blue fringes on their Tzitzit. True ultra-Orthodox Jews do not follow those Mitzvahs. What kind of rabbi tells his student to go to the Kotel?! Maybe I'm not Charedi now. I don't know. It changes depending on who's pulling me into what circle. But my rabbi told me, "It's Yom Yerushalayim. You join your people and follow the tradition. Listen to the rabbis' speeches at Yeshivat Merkaz HaRav for three hours. After not understanding a thing they say, you march to the Kotel. Go with your people and Daven Maariv." Making My Way to The Kotel I started walking to the Kotel from Merkaz HaRav at the entrance to the city. I couldn't make it anywhere. I was surrounded by random people dancing. I realized that if we're dancing already two miles from the entrance to the Old City, which is another kilometer away from the Kotel, it's going to be a long night. I was bothered, "Why is everybody dancing?! There is no reason to dance. Nobody is Davening!" To which I was told that people dance outside of the Kotel too. To which I said, "That's Asur." We weren't moving. I shouted, "We're nowhere near the Kotel. We're only at the central bus station. If you don't stop dancing, we'll never make it to the Kotel." It was at this moment that some of the people said, "Shoot. We'll never make it to the Kotel at this pace. I don't think we've moved. The circle just goes around. I think I'm back where I was ten minutes ago." And the circle opened up, and with arms around each other we all continued dancing in the direction of the Old City. And we started moving very slowly. They were jumping side to side. They were still dancing. I tried telling them that a march, like my rabbi suggested, would get us their quicker. Though a brisk walk would work better. I'm going to bring that up at our next Shiur. You don't move very fast no matter how you dance. You won't make it anywhere quickly dancing. It will slow down any activity. Grocery shopping, a visit to the doctor's office, Davening. It wasn't a hop skip and jump movement. They were doing this side to side jump dance, which I've noticed they do at sporting events and protests. It was the same dance. It moves quite slowly, as the direction is not forward. If turning toward the Kotel, it might have been faster. For a moment I thought they were protesting, until I heard a cheer of "Yerushalayim Shelanu. Oley Oley Oley Oley. Yerushalayim!!!" At which point, I realized they were going to a soccer game. They were Beitar Jerusalem fans and they never made it to the Kotel. Other People Are Dancing Too I left that group of dancers and joined another group of dancers who were singing "Yerushalayim Shel Zahav," "Jerusalem of Gold." And we danced down Jaffa Street to the beat of the song, even slower, as another circle was formed. It took a while to break that circle. "Jerusalem of Gold" is quite meaningful in circle form. You do not move fast in circles. That's something that I learned Yom Yerushalayim night. Confirmed. It was a half hour later that we morphed into a semicircle. Opening up the blockade part of the circle allowed for some movement towards the Kotel. I was connected with all my Holy Brethren and Sistren as we moved towards the Old City. Jerusalem. Unified. Dancing through the streets of Yerushalayim in semicircle form. Holding up traffic. Getting beeped. Getting people mad. It turns out that people trying to get home from work don't celebrate Yom Yerushalayim. They don't like circles, and it turns out they also don't like semicircles. The Kotel Plaza - A Circle of Love I made it through Jaffa Gate, Shaar Yafo, with a bit of pushing and running over the people that were in front of me in the semicircle. I finally got to the Kotel Plaza and people were again in circle form. It was six and a half hours since Yom Yerushalayim began. Six and a half hours of circles. The half, representing the half a day it took to clean up after the war. It turns out that groups like to form circles at the Kotel Plaza too. Undeterred I promised myself I would make it to the wall. It may take some extra time and sidestepping along with the circle, but I promised myself I would get to the Kotel. As I sidestepped, on my way to the Kotel, I realized I was part of another circle. I couldn't not be. I could not make my way around without being part of it. They sing and dance on Friday nights, but there are pockets of openness on Shabbat, fulfilling the words, "In the times of the Temple, nobody complained about space in Jerusalem" (misquoted from Pirkei Avot, but still a quote). But the Temple has been destroyed, and there was no room at the Kotel on Yom Yerushalayim, and I am complaining. Here, tonight, on Yom Yerushalayim, there was nowhere to go. I joined the circle. I had to. And before I could yell or ask my people to crowd surf me to The Wall, I found myself singing. Singing the meaningful words I had sung so many times before. The words that touched my heart for so many years as a Baal Teshuva. "Kol HaOlam Koolo." No idea what it means. So I sung. In unison, as our circles became one, our huge circle was singing "Kol HaOlam Koolo Gesher Tzat Meod." It turns out the words mean, "The whole world is a narrow bridge." So beautiful. So fitting, as I was stuck in a circle with no way out. Not even a narrow opening. I've got to get some sleep. I finally got home. I haven't slept since Yom Yerushalayim started. I think they're still dancing. I haven't even got to the Kotel yet. I still haven't Davened. I did. But I have to get sleep. I'll tell you more about me dancing with guys and the narrow bridges tomorrow. Lessons of What Has Followed "Kol HaOLam Koolo Gesher Tzar Meod." I think you understand those words now. From "Jerusalem of Gold" to the "Whole World is a Very Narrow Bridge," that is the progression of our people. Think about that statement, meditate on it. I'm sure something meaningful pop up. I've now adopted this new form of Davening, where I dance and serve Gd by not looking in the Siddur. I am now in much better shape. This new form of Davening has helped my cardiovascular health. It turns out that Davening takes an extra half hour to four hours with dancing. Tags:
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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XLV5/14/2025
Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about how he prepares for Pesach with tinfoil, and the joy of children on Lag BOmer, while justifying antisemitism with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for expressing his anger for spending way too much on his Shmura Matzah.
The drying rack has been tinfoiled. I can now use it on Pesach.
Idea: Market Shmurah Matzah that comes not broken. Problem: I thought the $85 box of Matzah would come with one not broken piece. There must be a full piece at the factory, when they make them. All broken. They came all broken. I paid $85 for Matzah bits. They must be tossing around the Matzah in the factory before they ship it. Solution: Becky Bierman said we do have the technology. The Etrog wrapping can easily be used for Matzah.
That’s called taking a chance. I hope somebody in that building is packing. You don’t just put out Israeli flags and not expect people to hate you. And how do you mow that?… And you wonder why there’s antisemitism. It’s the little Israeli flags. It’s this support for Israel stuff. These people saying they like Jews. That’s what causes Jew hatred. And even more, to commemorate the loved ones we’ve lost. That just causes more Jew hatred. If Jews didn’t have Israel and shuls, there would be no antisemitism. Unless if somebody heard about Jews some other way. Like if they heard Jews were around somewhere shopping at a bodega, they would hate Jews… Turns out the anti-Semites who hate Israel didn’t know those were Israeli flags. They thought it was overgrown white and blue grass. Everybody is safe…
The Lag Bomer fire looked dangerous. Especially being that kids lit that uncontained fire out of everything they found in the house (the burning door is all that’s left). And then to see the kid standing less than a foot away, hanging out. Then, I learned about Emunah. Belief in Gd… Next Lag Bomer, I’m guarding my place. Making sure kids don’t get hold of my door or the cabinets. Is that the kid's shirt they're about to throw in?
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Don't ask. It's an eclectic group of AI Chasidim.
It was Lag BOmer. I had to go to Meiron. It's Lag BOmer. I have to get to the Kever, the grave, of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai. I heard about it. I had to go.
There is nothing I love more as a Baal Teshuva than Lag BOmer. And spending Lag BOmer in Meiron is extra Chozer BTshuva glory. The more I see people with Payis jumping, the more connected I feel to Yidishkeit. Like the pictures of Jews my parents had in the den, the one-legged Chasidc dance connects me to Frumniosity. Whoever that artist is, he instilled in me an idea of what Chasidim do. And that's dance on one foot. Not sure if they learn Torah. I definitely know they dance on one foot. And there is no place better to see Chasidim dancing than at the grave of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai. The Rashbi. So, I made my way to Meiron. I decided travel to the north of Israel by bus, from Yerushalayim. I wanted to experience Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai's Hillula with my people. And that means with the cheapest form of transportation. Traveling to Merion, I felt like I was part of the nation, our Am, leaving Jerusalem for the pilgrimage festival of Lag BOmer. The fourth of the pilgrimage festivals. The Chag not mentioned in the Torah. The one we leave Yerushalayim to celebrate. Along with Pesach, where we go up to hotels outside of Jerusalem, which cost less. When you're going to a community event, you go with community. So, I sat on the bus next to a beautiful Jewish soul who hadn't showered. I could smell the Kedusha. The holiness. What is known as the Avira DAra, the atmosphere of Israel. And it was all coming from the guy sitting right next to me. I was surrounded by the aura of Kedusha. The bus route was amazing. We passed every fire in Israel. Towns on fire and people were fine with it. We passed through Bet Shean where they decided to burn the guy's mattresses. Might have been his home at the start. I don't know. But all of the holy Jews were celebrating. People with Payis were jumping. Why we didn't just take the faster route by way of the highway is still something I ask. Yet, it was a chance to bond more with my nation. A chance to see holy towns of Israel on fire. A beautiful sight for a Jew. Especially a Jew who is growing in his connection to his people. We finally got to Merion. Which meant there was another bus. There was a bus from the bus. Mamish. Amazing. Gishmack. More buses. More connecting with my people who haven't showered now for eight hours, since they started dancing to celebrate the Rashbi's demise. Then I caught another bus from the bus from the bus, which then leaves you off, so you get to walk to where you need to go. Gishmack We made it to the party. I was at the gates of Meiron. All of our Chasidic brethren celebrating. Dancing. Jumping. Payis flying. Selling stuff. Booths everywhere. It was like homecoming on campus, just that people had clothes on. They had falafel booths where they served falafel for money. I learned that Jewish carnivals have falafel. Even if were celebrating the Jews of Spain, it's falafel. I’ve learned much in my few years as a religious Jew. All Jewish events have falafel somewhere. They had a Tehillim booth to remind us that things are not good. And that made me feel even more religious, as I celebrated through feeling bad. Chabad rabbis were there. Chabad rabbis love booths. I remembered the Matzah factory booth and the shofar making booth. But it wasn't Pesach or Rosh Hashana. It was Lag BOmer. So, the rabbis had a fire making booth. The coolest booth I ever saw, until the Meiron fire department shut it down. Many of us Frum Jews were mad, as the fire department and Merion policemen didn't express the same Emunah, belief in Gd, as the Chabad rabbis. You could tell by the fires we passed on the way to Merion, the fire department in Bet Shean had much more Emunah and Bitachon bH' than their colleagues in Meiron. It might have been that they were making small fires in a wood booth. Waiting for us was food. Food booths. Menschim doing Chesed. Acts of kindness for those who can’t afford falafel. Feeding people who forgot to bring food on a full day’s trip. I was blessed to enjoy the Israeli Frum event food. Rugulach with a thin layer of a chocolate looking stuff painted on, hard dust cookies, and coffee made out of Botz. Made the traditional way, with mud. Religious Israelis drink coffee the way Moshe Rabbeinu drank it. Traditional coffee, before South America was founded. I love mud coffee. As I learned, the Mesorah, tradition is to dunk the hard dust cookie in the coffee. And so I did, and I lost the thing. The cookie broke off. It was gone. Religious Jews in Israel don’t travel with food. They show up and eat hard dust cookies. Oh. How I've come to love hard dust cookies with a that solidified neon jelly looking thing on the inside. It’s what religious Jews eat in the Beit Midrash, and it is what we eat at festivals. Then we saw religious concerts. That means Shwekey. Or somebody else who sings like Shwekey. Such an amazing experience. I continued and saw more fires. And nobody had to follow fire code, unless if they were a Chabad rabbi with a booth. It was Mardis Gras for Frum Jews. Which meant no floats and the bands were stationary. And nobody was drinking cocktails like the Hurricane. Everybody was drinking schnapps. Straight schnapps. I learned that Frum people drink schnapps, because schnapps sounds Jewish. After the bus and working my way through the concerts and the crowd, dancing with every Chasid, and walking through fire, and getting stopped by every person who asks for money in Israel - I believe I met them all, which is a Mitzvah - Fifteen hours later, I pushed, I grabbed, I did not make it to the Kever. Conclusion Yidishkeit, being a Frum Jew, is about the journey. Chagim in Israel are not about making it anywhere. It’s about being there. That is the holy experience of any Chag. It's the journey to Yerushalayim. It’s the journey to Meiron. It’s the journey to a hotel in Florida to save money and not be in Jerusalem for Pesach. As long as you have Chasidim dancing somewhere, my mom would say it’s Jewish. And she’s right. I was at the gates of Meiron. Finally, I was at the gate. The real gate this time. There are a lot of gates in Meiron. It turns out the last gate I was at was the gate to some guy's house. I finally made it to Meiron. Effort pays off. I was there and I did not make it the Rashbi's Kever. It was packed. It turns out that I couldn't make it past the last group of Chasidim dancing. The pictures in the den don't show how crowded the dancing can get. Then I took the bus back to Yerushalayim. It took six hours to get out of Meiron. At that point, I was just annoyed and asking myself why I didn’t take a car. It was then I started questioning how much Avira DAra I can handle. For the first time in my Frum journey I thought, “Maybe I should be a little less religious. Maybe a bonfire and some Tehillim is a good enough way to celebrate. Maybe I don’t need to be on a bus for fifteen hours to connect with H’.” And then I got home and promised myself I would go back to Meiron next year, and make it my Minhag. My tradition. Tags:
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Let us finish off the trilogy of antisemitism, with more Jewish hate. Today we shall speak of the anti-Semites on campus. The dangerous ones. The college students. When they study and get degrees they become more dangerous.
College Student Anti-Semites They're studying at university. They don't have a choice. They want to pass. Professors are giving lectures on how to attack Jews on the quad correctly, with peace signs. Giving courses on how annoying Yarmulkes are. With sections on the moral clarity of why rape and hostage taking are fine if it's against Jews. Jews Should Die: A Historical Perspective 101. If college students want to graduate with honors, they have to express their hatred of Jews. They must learn to conjugate "Zionist" properly. And that means with the right tone of hate that expresses the fault of the "Zionist" for the deaths in Liberia. The killings in Iraq? Jewish. Armenian genocide? The Jews. Yemen? It was the Jews. If the Jews weren't kicked out or murdered, Muslims would not be killed. Ivy League schools have created a curriculum for those who haven't been to Israel, called Hating a Place You've Never Been To: A Philosophical Perspective to Hating Jews. I would do so good at Harvard nowadays. I would ace every test. Jews are Educated Anti-Semites Knowing stuff really gets people hating you. Did you ever run into a know it all?! It's this whole thinking education is important that has everybody hating us. If we just stopped learning, and stopped doing all this studying where we end up creating stuff and getting Nobel Prizes, people would love us. If we were just dumber. If we just gave less to society. Then, the educated Jewish professors are the ones educating the anti-Semites to hate educated Jews. A Shayla: If it wasn't for Jewish education, what would happen to antisemitism on college campuses? The Jew Hater that Sleeps in a Tent They make their point by sleeping outside and making signs. This shows their hatred of Jews by refusing to get a job. These anti-Semites beat COVID by sleeping in tents. They also took down Donald Trump with the tents. And they are now taking down Israel with tents. How? By making their point and sleeping outside. Sleeping under the stars is something an American will not do, unless if they're very mad about something. This is why I stay away from homeless people. I don't know if they hate Jews or not. The COVID Protesters Somehow, they're protesting Jews and still wearing masks. I don't know how COVID became part of the plight of the anti-Semite. Due to their war on COVID, which they are still fighting, they protest Jews by wearing masks. Watch out for these anti-Semites, they are very mad and very violent. They might even be sitting next to you in Economics And How Jews Took All Your Money 201. The Anti-Ben Shapiro They just like arguing with Ben Shapiro. The Student Union Still not serving Kosher food. A bunch of anti-Semites. Fifty-Year-Old College Students Why these universities are all the sudden taking in students after retirement. Freshman at fifty, who never finished high school. And then they don't even give them dorms. Forcing them to sleep on the grass. In tents. The Drive-by Anti-Semites They drive-by and beep. These are the worst. You know they truly hate Jews. They're definitely not beeping me because I’m hot. The first time I got beeped on Shabbat I thought somebody in the car was checking me out. Then I noticed the three-hundred pound bald guy and realized I had just finished taking down four pounds of Kugel the night before. To my college students. We have to be tough. As a Jew, don’t let these anti-Semites scare you. Even if they're a fifty-five-year-old college student living on the quad, who has never attended a class. Keep strong. Fight back. Wear that Kippah, or Yarmulke if you’re not religious, and get them mad. My dad A"H was tough. I will never forget when the neo-Nazis were on the side of the road yelling stuff at us on the way to shul. Stuff like "Jew." Never call a Jew a Jew. Especially when that Jew is my father. It's just offensive to call a Jew a Jew. To this day, it bothers me as a Jew when people don't call me Christian. My father started chasing them, yelling, "One day you're going to work for my son." I will never forget that. The toughness. Willingness to stick up for his Jewish people who others called Jews. I also remember asking my father, "Isn't that why they hate us?" And you know what gives us the right to be tough. Israel. The Zionists. Calling Jews who support and love Israel Zionists is offensive. It just hurts. Tags:
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Culture is thine people. Since the Babylonians, the Greeks and thine Romans got involved we have been dispersed around the world. We have found ourselves in Israel, and in different countries, where our people have learned to make decent brisket. It is now that our people, oh the dispersed, have come home, and thus we speaketh of the immigrant. Oh. How thine people reimmigrantasize.
They speak Hebrew in the Holy Land. Need I say more? They also speak Russian, French, English, Yiddish, Mandarin. It really depends on where you’re from. They also speak Hebrew. Oh. How I love thee and thine languages that are not Hebrew. Thy citizeneth who identify as Israelis who don't speak Hebrew. Oh. Thine American who doesen'tith abandoneth their English. Keepeth strong in thine will notith speaking Hebrew. There’s an Israeli law that every third song on the radio has to be Israeli, in order to interrupt the good songs with songs that speak to the Neshama. Thine soul. Oh. Thine Israeli radio. Thy doesn'th have English songs playing all day, as thusith would maketh Israel feel too much like Russia. Oh. How I love thine music that is not English. You giveth songs that toucheth the soul, that I don'teth understand. Thanks to the strong religious influence, we have Chasidic songs on the radio. Each Chasidic song has the lyrics of “yay nay nay.” so that everybody can sing along. Oh. Thine religious songs playeth during the week. How I misseth Shabbat on Tuesdays, until I hear thine radio with Shwekey topping thine charts. Oh. How I love thee and thine religious songs and the chance thou allowest me to singeth along, in confidence I understand wateth happeneth. It is these words that I know, remindeth me I do understandeth Hebrew. Yay Nay Nay Nay. We have Israeli food such as falafel, shwarma and pizza. Which Israel created. Oh. How I love thee. Oh. Thine Borscht and thine Schav. Gold's, thine our a brand. A brand and a family. Oh. How thine kibe. Thine croussants thou takes credit for. Some pizza ist created in Italy, as we give our Italinia reimmigrantized credit for pizza too. Though, thou knowest pizza is Israeli. Oh. Chinese food. Thou hast notith moved to Israel, but ure people have brought thine foodeth from thine Diaspora. Chinese Foodeth that iseth Israeli. Sports is everywhere. We even have athletes that came from America so we can compete in thine EuroLeague. Oh. How I love thee. Oh. Thine Israeli athletes that did not make the NBA. To Israeli immigrants everywhere. Thank you for opening up falafel shops. Oh. Thine Diaspora, where thine Israelis who never cooked openeth restaurants of Israeli cuisine. Where a salad of cut vegetables is called Israeli. Oh. How thy introduced the world to the untucked shirt. Oh. Thine Diaspora. Where Israelis move to geteth away from Israelis, to liveth with Israelis. Oh. Thine Diaspora. Where Israelis move to geteth away from immigrants. ***The adding of the "eth" to the end of the word makes it biblical. And thuseth more meaningfuleth. Poetic. Tags:
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Yesterday we discussed the full array of anti-Semites. There are more. There are more anti-Semites than all of the anti-Semites.
I always knew people hated us. I didn't know they hate us this much. Over the past year and a half I've taken notice of how so many people hate Jews. The thing is not all anti-Semites are the same. There are many different kinds of anti-Semites. I've analyzed their hatred. They all hate Jews. But they hate us in different ways. Each anti-Semite is unique, and that should be celebrated. They all hate us. And that means Jews never lived in Israel. And Jews have always owned everything. Everything, except Israel. And Jews run the newspapers that say Jews never lived in Israel. Today, let's focus on some of the Israel hating anti-Semites. Anti-Israel Anti-Semites These Jew haters are mad Israel has Jews. These anti-Semites especially hate the Israeli Druze. To quote my coworker, "Druze, Jews. What's the difference." That guy also blamed us for the iceberg that destroyed the Titanic. There is truth to every joke. We Support You Anti-Semites These anti-Semites love Jews, they just want all the ones they don't know to die. These anti-Semites say they love Israel. They just don't want Jews living there, and they want them to be thrown into the sea. Hence, they are proJews. Until all this hatred of my people, I always thought getting thrown into water is a bunch of fun. That's how camp will mess you up. For the sake of our future, our children, and all the antisemitic Jewish summer camp counselors, I propose counselors stop throwing Frum campers into the water. It looks wrong. The Jews Run the World Anti-Semites They claim we run everything, including the airlines that won't fly to Israel. We've shut these anti-Semites up with arguments like, "If you hate the Jews and Israel, don't use your computer. Jews created all that stuff. We put together the computer chips. Don't read the newspaper. We run those. And don't travel. We own the airlines too. And don't even think about using your bank... Exactly. Jews!!! And we also created SodaStream. And we own technology." So, we've dealt with that argument. Terrorists These ones are actually trying to kill us. Actively. Every day. I don't want to definitively call the terrorists anti-Semites. They may like us. They're just trying to kill us because they need to support their families somehow. Mad Jews Won't Die Jew Haters These ones are real angry Jews are defending themselves. Hence, the human rights violation of Jews living. October 7th truly got these anti-Semites going, bothered that Jews are still around. These anti-Semites are rightfully fighting for the right to rape Jewish women. The Mad Jews Won't Die Jew Haters do not have it easy, with Jews living in this world. My liberal Jewish friend shared that we should be considerate of their feelings too. Jews Didn't Create Falafel Anti-Semites They only say this because they hate us. Some even have the Chutzpah to say they don't like Marzipan rugulach. Who would say that, but an anti-Semite. A Jew hater. The We Want to Kill You Anti-Semite I would try to avoid these ones. They want to kill you. These Jew haters will look at you. They may even curse you. As soon as they say they want to kill you, maybe start walking the other way. Check the pockets. Make it look like you forgot something. That’s just a suggestion. Maybe you can power walk to the other grocery store. There are also the nonviolent anti-Semites who attack Jews. Be careful out on the streets. The nonviolent ones are the most dangerous. There are so many more anti-Semites out there. For instance, the guy at Wender's Hardware, down the block, was charging $45 for an adapter. With prices like that, and no sale, definitely anti-Semites. And why so mach for the adapter? Mr. Wender hates Israel. I know it. And then there is the anti-Semite actor who hates Jews because they are an actor, and that means they have to hate Israel. And then there is the Israeli in Hollywood who finally decided that they don't want to act anymore, saying they support their family. And then there is the Israeli's family that is mad at their idiot child who is not making as much money anymore. I want to thank all of our anti-Semites. They do the best job of getting Jews to move to Israel. Tags:
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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about healthy food that he puts on weight from, because he eats way too much of it, and not arresting Chabad youth who feel it's important to pray, with Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for expressing his support of Israel through nail salons while stealing pens and expos.
How these work, I don’t know. I appreciate all the healthy cookies and chips... I put on a few pounds eating a lot of healthy. It seems that too many healthy peanut butter cups will also get you fat... As you can see from the picture, the amount of healthy snacks I've eaten over my career of vending has also done a job on my teeth.
At least the pedicures of Tenafly are on our side... We stand with Israel with nicely polished toes.
Went to the Jewish Camp Expo. Definitely worth it. I got the pens. Next year, we’re taking the kids to a conference to pick up their school supplies.
We all have heroes. I met one of mine... He even visited Israel and they didn't arrest him. The double standard.
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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XLII2/8/2025
Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about haberdasheries exchanging money, people helping the Israeli soldiers with food and the open airiness of dried fruit in the shuk, with Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for expressing his money saving techniques of not paying for stuff he is buying.
What makes a tailor shop a sketchy? When the guy is a money changer... And then when they gave me change for the hem, they charged a fee for taking the money.
What giving to soldiers looks like. You clear out your kitchen, and you make the soldiers carry it... If you ever bake too much pastry, this is the thing to do. Taking your cookies is part of their service.
Purchasing dried fruits and nuts is a communal experience at the Shuk. That’s why there’s no sneeze guard, and the guy is rubbing his stomach all over the prunes.
As long as you don't ask, it's free. Taking free dried fruit and nuts, and not paying, adds to the joy of Tu BShvat... That lady filling the bag didn't pay. The bag makes it easier to pick out the fruit you won't be paying for.
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As long as you don't ask, it's free. Taking free dried fruit and nuts adds to the joy of Tu BShvat... That lady filling the bag didn't pay. The bag makes it easier to pick out the fruit you won't be paying for.
You asked me about the celebration of Tu BShvat and thus I shall answer. If you're not a Frum Jew, you should celebrate Tu BShvat and find joy in nature. If you're a Frum Jew, learn Torah to celebrate nature. Tu BShvat is the New Year of Trees, and thus a Jew must celebrate. And thus a Jew must find joy. And thus a Jew eats stuff.
Here are things you must do to bring joy to the New Year of Trees. No Tachanun is Said on Tu BShvat The Shulchan Aruch (131:6) teaches that we don't say the Tachanun prayer on Tu BShvat because of the joy of trees that we as people connect to. Not reciting Tachanun is the greatest joy you can give a Jew. To quote the Pasuk (Devarim 20:19), "For man is like the tree of the field." Trees also don't say Tachnun. The joy of getting out of shul a minute early is one of elation. Imagine how much joy a Frum Jew would get out of another ten minutes of not being in shul. For this reason, many of adopted the Tu BShvat tradition of showing up to shul late. Many very religious Jews sleep through Davening. They make it a point of not going to shul after Tu BShvat as well. That is how committed they are to the requirement of Tu BShvat joy. Eat Dried Fruit Man is like a tree, and hence the joy. Trees are very joyful. That is the message of Tu BShvat. Like a tree bears fruit, so too man eats it. Taking is the natural way of relationships, we take from the tree. And give the tree nothing. Just like family. Again, the holiday is about meaning. And like old dried fruit, old people wither and become shriveled. Sometimes, when fruit comes out of a pool, it also shrivels. Thus, we eat dried dates and apricots, which look like old people. Apricots are preferred because they look like old people with a really bad spray tan. To truly enjoy Tu BShvat, climb people. It brings an element of fun to the holiday. Sulfor Dioxide Sulfor dioxide is an important part of the Tu BShvat food, allowing it to stay in you. You want the holiday to last. And SO2 ensures that. Sulfur dioxide is also an important part of the Israeli diet, along with people's hands reaching into the nuts that I'm about to purchase. Why Nuts It's tradition to eat nuts on Tu BShvat. I heard they come from trees. I'll go with it. Almonds in Israel are just amazing. Hence, we eat them. Tradition. I don't know if that is in the Shulchan Aruch. The Tu Bshvat Seder Brings Joy Pesach isn't the only Seder. People also like to drink wine on Tu BShvat. Hence the Seder, to justify being a lush around religious people. Keep the Seder quick. If it is long, people will start to get flashbacks to Tachnun. Also keep in mind the fruit and almonds. A long Seder will ruin the joy, as the dried fruit starts to settle and causes heartburn. Once Shilshul sets in, the joy of the Seder is over. Tradition of Puns Fruit puns are amazing. Almost as amazing as almonds. The date joke is just too good to resist. Date puns about dates are amazing fun. Turn to a single person and say, "Here is a date, so you can get a date." Always brings joy and laughs. The puns remind us of the Simanim on Rosh Hashana. With all the Rosh Hashana fruit puns, I feel like the New Year is another New Year for trees, celebrating puns twice. Wait, another fruit pun... "What do you call an ant that wants their whole family to be at the wedding? A cantaloupe!" Just came up with that one. You get it? Antelope. This one can't. Hence, cantaloupe, which is a fruit. The ant can't elope. It's a religious ant. Just adding more joy to the Tu BShvat Seder. Nuts also make for great puns. Such as, "You're a nut." That pun can go on for a good half hour of laughs at the Seder. Puns bring Tu BShvat joy to fathers who come up with them, and people who can't find joy in monologues. I hope all of this helps bring joy to your Tu BShvat, as you now understand the importance of dried fruit and nuts for Jewish celebration. Joy is found in eating. We have tried finding joy outside of food for millennia. Nothing works, other than food, dried fruit puns, skipping prayers and climbing people. Joy has yet to be found in one's children. Nachis is a farce. And remember, nothing brings more joy than going to the Shuk taking dried fruit, and not paying for it. Tags:
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Sermons of Rebuke IV: VaEra1/26/2025 
Announcements
Congregants should not be scared of the terrorist prisoner release. Our shul has dealt with college students for the past few years. We understand ceasefires are a scary thing. But know you’ve already lived through college students. The rabbi says moving to Israel is the right thing to do. To quote our rabbi: “Moving to Israel and selling your house ensures you are not in Topeka. You already haven’t paid your dues.” The Gabai is allowed to give Haftorah to whomever he would like. It is part of the services. Even if you are usually at Kiddish club getting drunk during the Haftorah, it’s still part of the services. The rabbi can give it to you. And you will have to read not under the influence. Contemporary Halacha Classes: How to Fight Off College Students Without the Help of Tzahal. You Moving to Israel: How to Bring Shalom to Our Shul. Why Leaving Services to Get Drunk Might Not Be the Right Thing to Do. Rabbi Mendelchem's Drasha Excerpts Shabbat Shalom My Pupils... We are all affected by our previous actions. Which is why the members of this congregation are so messed up. Previous actions is also the reason we are still having the Walk for Our Elders in the Snow Fundraiser... It’s freezing and last year three of our senior citizens caught pneumonia. But dumb decisions lead to dumb decisions and that is why we have our board... (Shemot 7:3) Gd says, “And I will harden Paroh’s heart.” Everybody is always worried "but Paroh didn't have free will." Nobody cares about the fact he was whipping Jews. He was murdering little babies, but you're worried about Paroh's mental well-being. Paroh needs a safe space to express himself. If that means murdering Jewish babies... Does H’ really harden Paroh’s heart. The commentaries teach that it’s habit. It’s habit that causes us not to change. It’s habit that makes us evil. We get used to something and at that point, our hearts are hardened. And then you have our board... Congregants give up. No need for me to go into detail about how none of our members help the elderly anymore... H’ does that final action. He’s there to aid us in our stupid... You guys go out to drink. You’re used to it. You come to shul to drink. Most come to Daven. You come to drink. Because that's your habit. Your free will that turned into a fixed state of drunkenness... You should participate in the services. The Gabai gave Yonatan the Haftorah so he could participate... First time you didn’t get drunk at services since your Bar Mitzvah... That’s what Haftorahs do. They keep you from the Kiddish Club and sober for Musaf... First time you've read Haftorah not under the influence, and you still made mistakes... Your family was definitely drinking at your Bar Mitzvah. Having to listen to you reading up there. Let's talk about the Kiddish Club for a second. The club with all the hardened hearts of the fools.... That's what alcohol does. It brings out the fools. What kind of club is it? What's the goal of the club? To get you drunk for Musaf. The Freemasons are looking to build a better future. The Kiddish Club is there to get out of prayers and come back in a way that lets your kids down... Yonatan. Your children are going to show up to shul and have flashbacks to Musaf with drunk dad puking on them. You're the only club that makes it a point to not help. Even the sisterhood does more than you. The point of the club is to get out of Davening... That’s the right of the Levis and Cohens. They can leave services to wash hands... I know some of them don’t come back. But at least they leave for the right reasons... Our congregants leaving is a good thing. Which is why you should move to Israel. All Kiddish Club members should move to Israel. Moving to Israel is the right thing. Yishuv HaAretz... Yishuv HaAretz has nothing to do with a huge hotel breakfast... When you move there, you can’t afford the huge breakfast. Unless at the Dead Sea. It's cheaper there for some reason. The huge breakfast is for tourists. They call it the Israeli breakfast, because tourists who visit Israelis can afford it. You should move to Israel... Jobs?! H’ provides in Israel... H' hardens the hearts of the Kiddish Club and provides in Israel. What do you do here that’s helpful... You make money, but you’re not helpful. It’s safe in Israel. I’m sending you to the Jewish homeland. With terrorists right there... Well. We have college students here. Being scared is a habit. No matter what the habit, you get stuck there. It's a habit and your heart is stuck. If it's drinking, killing people, or not moving from Topeka. You're scared, because you're stuck... You even wrote to Bibi to send soldiers to our shul to help fight off students. Some of these college campuses are full of terrorists... Students. Terrorists. Activists. It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes. At least you can see the face of the terrorists... I’m not scared to move to Israel. I’ve had to deal with the congregants already... Your heart has been hardened to Aliyah. To moving to Israel... Moshe had a hard time and was scared. He didn’t know how to lead. How to speak up. Kind of like the president of our shul. But he was self-aware... Maybe he didn’t have a Jewish day school education. Egyptian public schools do not make orators. Again. Moshe expresses his worry and tells H’ (Shemot 6:30) “I have sealed lips, so how will Paroh obey me.” If you can't talk, who will listen?... I know you don't listen to my Dvar Torahs, Bernie. I get it... His lips were hardened. Again, habit. A habit that wouldn't be a bad thing if Bernie adopted it. How do we get out of this rut? How do we change our habits of being a congregant and drunk? How does one not be scared anymore? How do unharden the heart of the board? How do congregants move to Israel? (Shemot 7:1) H’ tells Moshe, “See. I have made you a master to Paroh, and Aharon, your brother. will be your spokesman...” The Kiddish Club just can't stop talking. That's not a help. H' is telling Moshe that the way to get out of this habit is to know that there are others to help. There is Aharon there to help him change his habit. His worry. His fear. And I have a fear that old people walking in the frozen snow is not healthy... We have to depend on others sometimes. His brother. Right there. Right in front of him. That is the one who is there to help. And Moshe couldn't see that. The same way the board can't see that the programming in this shul is messed up, and that the shul would be better if most of the congregants moved to Israel... With the help of his brother, he was able to be a master. Once he looked outside of himself, he was able to have belief. When I look outside of this congregations, the world is beautiful... In order to deal with our demons. Our habits of destruction, we have to just look outside ourselves for that help. Then maybe you will leave this shul and move to Israel. And stop your habits of Davening drunk. If Paroh would've just seen outside his desire for power and hatred of Jews... Why are you still worried about Paroh not having free choice. Maybe we can work together and stop the habit of killing babies... May all the hostages and their families be comforted, and have strength and Bracha... You say you need to drink. Don’t look to Merv for help. His jokes will have you wanting to drink more. Look to Sadie. The only decent one in this shul. She will help our people. She'll stop you from talking... If the congregation just didn't talk... Rivka's Rundown The elderly winter walk is not smart. To quote the rabbi, "Almost as dumb as our shul's president." Should've done that program in the summer, when our seniors can go outside without thirty layers. For the walk last year, there was a heater truck moving really slowly in front of the walk for elders. The truck turned all the snow on the sidewalk into slush. It ripped up the city park's grass. And everybody came out of it feeling sicker, due to wet feet turned frostbitten. Why the seniors had to do the walk for elder's health in minus five-degree weather still has me questioning. The rabbi likened the worry for Paroh to the whole Gaza thing. How these people are trying to kill us, and everybody is worried about their living situation. Got to worry about the terrorists and how they were "raised to hate Jews. It's not their fault." I’m worried for our brethren. How about they don't try to kill us. I think that's an idea. Some congregants came to the rabbi and said, "Well, Hamas and the Gazans. Gd hardened their heart. It's not their fault." The rabbi told them, "You're fools." I believe that was his simple response. What the rabbi was teaching is that evil is built up until all of their choices are evil. Or to be more exact, and all of their choices are "we hate Jews. Like the president of our shul." I still think he's looking for a raise. Fact is that they’re everywhere. I’ve never been so scared of a ceasefire. It seems that ceasefire means terrorists our on the streets. It always seems like there's more danger when we put down our weapons. The fact we survived college students is very empowering. The rabbi wrote a letter regarding the ceasefire. Very uninspiring. He said nothing. He just wrote, “It should be for Bracha.” Absolutely nothing. And nobody was mad, or comforted. He says "Bracha" and everybody loves him. You can be deathly ill and he'll say, "It should be for Bracha." It sounds good. Almost as good as saying "Mazel Tov." Maybe he should've wrote, "Mazel Tov." That would've been a good response to the release of terrorists. A celebratory reaction. The move to Israel didn't happen. Once they realized the jobs don't pay as much, they decided it wasn't a Jewish value or Mitzvah to go to Israel. "Hearts hardened to moving to Israel." Brilliant. The rabbi likened the congregants to Paroh. Love it. Why the rabbi hasn't moved to Israel is still a question. He brings up moving all the time, and he hates the shul. The rabbi just wanted to get rid of the congregants. They could’ve moved to Costa Rica. Anywhere outside of America. That was a huge dis. That line about the sisterhood doing more than the Kiddish Club. That stings. There is a line you don't cross, and that is telling somebody that the sisterhood does more than them. The Gabai gave Yonatan the Haftorah. A dirty trick. Kept him in shul for the Haftorah. Sneaky and mean. The guy missed the Kiddish Club. He went through all of Musaf without a buzz. I've never seen somebody shake so much during the Musaf Amidah. I think Yonatan was going through withdrawal during the prayer. Reading the Haftorah is not easy. It's like a test for these guys. It brings back harsh memories of being in middle school and having to read in front of the class. The why leaving shul to get drunk might not be the right thing class was not understood. There were many questions asked to the rabbi, in the form of "I don't understand." Tags:
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How to Calm Down a Terrorist1/22/2025 
Many people are scared about the release of the terrorists, asking me, "David. What do we do?" You live.
Before getting into this article, May all of the hostages come home safely. Our prayers continue to go out to them and their families. The nightmare they have gone through is unforgivable. And to know these bloodthirsty terrorists have been put back out there is bothersome. The question still stands. "What do we do?" I can tell you, do not be scared. Israelis have dealt with terror forever. And Americans have had to deal with college students. With so many terrorists out there, we have to discuss what to do when confronted with a terrorist. First, say "Shalom." Greet them. This is going to be dark, but here is some advice for how to calm them down. Show Them Support As we all know, killing terrorists is wrong. You want to empathize with them. Talk it out. See their perspective. Support groups are good. Anything where they are thinking killing themselves is not the right thing today. One day at a time. Start a terror support group if that helps. Get them talking about how their parents never believed in them enough. How their parents didn't think they had the ability to blow themselves up. Sometimes, what parents say can hurt. Get them to open up about the day they lived. Terrorists need a safe space to let out their emotions. Their hurt. Empathize. Maybe give them some warm clothes. A decent coat. Some hot Sabich. It seems to get quite cold in Gaza. This is why they're always wearing ski masks. They never have coats. Empathize a bit. I know Hamas waits for The North Face to have a decent sale before outfitting the Gazans. Give them the coat when they need it. If they are the suicide type, ask them why they want to take others and not just themselves. Educate Them Take the positive approach. Let them know they don't have to blow themselves up to be successful and to receive the adulation of others. Pull them aside for a deep conversation about how you were once down and out when your parents didn't send you enough money to go out drinking in the Shuk when you first made Aliyah. We all go through hard times. Teach them a new trade. Maybe finance. Get them into investments. Get them involved in a trade where they'll only want to kill themselves if they find out the stock market crashed. Give them hope. Instruments are good. Teach them to play the ukulele. Ukuleles don't kill people. There is no reason to blow yourself up when you can play beautiful songs like “Over the Rainbow.” And there is no reason to blow up a ukulele, unless if you find yourself at an open mic, or trying to enjoy a series. Acting is an excellent profession. They're excellent at acting. They've mastered the playing dead. Some of them have already died four or five times. And they pull it, each time. Redirect Their Anger Sports is good for this. Redirect their anger to soccer. Soccer fans yell a lot too. They can find hatred for other people that aren't Jewish, known as fans of the other team. They can feel the same comradery as they do with their fellow terrorists, as they root for their team by jumping up and down and attacking the other fans. If all else fails, let them know there are other Jews. [That might have been too dark. I apologize for that. Too soon. Three-thousand years is too soon. It's just crazy knowing there are so many terrorists and anti-Semites out there. Even if it's not funny, you will always be able to say this piece is gutsy.] Lock Your Doors Terrorists like blowing stuff up. They're not good at picking locks. If your door is locked, it'll take them a while to figure out how to get in. They may knock. Don’t answer. If you answer, they’ll make their way into the house. This is also why I don’t answer the door when my in-laws visit. [There is always room for a mother-in-law joke. Especially when you're not married and talking about terrorism.] Sing with Them Singing brings people together. “Am Yisrael Chai” is a beautiful song. “Over the Rainbow” would be good times too. Pull out the guitar, the bongo and the ukulele. Stay away from the bonfire. Just sing in a circle. Keep it a circle. You can always sing the Jihad ABCs with the male Miss Lyle. That will bring back childhood memories about how the Jews are the devil and they should be killed. Childhood memories always warm the heart. Educate Them on Israel Their education is off. They think Israel doesn’t exist. And yet their charter says to kill everybody in Israel. [Some jokes don’t land. Maybe this isn't the right topic to try to be funny about.] Teach them about Israel. Take them on one of those educational seminars where they tell you about water levels. Then, they'll only want to kill the presenter. Show them how expensive apartments are in Jerusalem and they might change that “Free Palestine” tone to just getting a better deal on housing. Saving some money would be good enough. [Working the Free Palestine pun. Giving it a different angle for you. People are always looking for new angles on the Free Palestine pun.] Less Rage Their full of rage. Terrorists are very rageful. They love rage. Days of rage. Mobs of rage. Rage against the machine. If you can just calm them down. If you can just derage them, you'll be OK. Give them credit for creating falafel and chumus. That will calm them down. That's why they're so outraged all the time, yelling, trying to kill Jews. That's why Arafat created this whole hoax. He just wanted credit for Chumus Abu Ammar. People take their chumus seriously. Teach Them About Other Places Maybe if they saw other places, like Europe, they might want to move there and blow stuff up. Other Ways to Protect Yourself When you’re online in the supermarket let them cut. They will get violent. Look both ways when crossing the street. Look both ways when on a sidewalk. Just look both ways. Always look both ways. And pray. Pray for the Israeli Army. Pray for the hostages. Pray for their families. Pray for the Jewish people. Pray to Gd that the government doesn't do more dumb stuff. Pray for peace. Pray to Gd that we rid the world of terrorists. Jews of the Diaspora, be strong. Know you can take out the terrorists. You've already dealt with college students. [What kind of idiot uses terror to make jokes!] Tags:
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I've got to tell you about this. I never knew the power of my Yarmulke till this open mic. I thought my Yarmulke was supposed to remind me about Gd. I didn't know it was supposed to get other people mad.
The Story I sat down at the bar and ordered a Diet Coke on the rocks. I'm not a loser. This young girl was performing her piece at the open mic in Buffalo. She was old enough to know that Jews should be killed. She had been to college. She had Jewish professors. And she had traveled to France, so she knew about Israel. As part of her piece she was going off on the "genocide of the Palestinian people." I sat there shocked. Who are these Palestinian people she speaks of? Who was doing this to these Palestinian people? I must stop them. Now. I had just shared laughs with some Arabs in Israel. I am assuming some of them identify as Palestinians. I would hope nobody is doing anything to them. But she was adamant that there was a genocide going on somewhere. I didn't know if that was part of the song or not. There was no music accompaniment. Maybe it was one of those music storyteller shows where they leave out the music. They get so excited about the story and they forget it's a concert. And she was really getting into this story. She started talking about Israelis being the devil. She was very passionate about that. I was trying to figure out what she was talking about. And I couldn't figure out how to respond. Everybody loves a good story. What am I going to do? Start yelling at her for her creativity? Shake her up and mess up the story? Maybe she was speaking about the genocide of the Palestinians that lived 4,000 years ago; the start of the Palestinian people and their documented history as a state. She started speaking of this utopian society where women could frolic and get raped. And finally, rape would be supported. There would be no more judgment of the beheading of little children. A paradise where genocide would finally be defined as defending one's people against enemies who are trying to murder everyone in their nation. She was speaking of a Messianic Palestinian time of redemption. It was a beautiful story, delivered with emotion and tears, setting up the song "Zombie," written in support of the Palestinian people who had to deal with the ruthless British in Ireland. Everybody clapped. The story was amazing. How she intertwined the need to kill all Jews in the utopia which was Palestinian Ireland. It was brilliant. To be honest, I think I even clapped. It was the most creative story. Innovative, ingenious, original. At least now I knew where the Palestinian genocide was happening. In Ireland. The story was brilliant, but I felt for those who identify as Palestinian. Did they really feel rape was fine? And she continued with "the day of joy when Jews were dragged through the streets and finally burned. A day in which cheers were had by all." She left some of that part out. Her friends were disappointed. They were hoping for more of the story of Satan the Jew. They wanted to hear more of this utopian ridding of the Jews, as the crowd were pacifists and believed in love of all. So, she cried for the twelve million reported Gazan deaths and went into the song. How Do I Respond My Jewish side and love of my nation and people kicked in. I thought this was wrong, even if it was a story. If you're going to tell a story, tell it correctly. I was bothered she didn't throw the Black Plague into this. If she was going to tell this story with any facts, she would've mentioned how Jews make it a point of drinking blood. Which is Kosher if it's from nonJewish children and Shechted just right. I didn't know if I could argue against stuff that doesn't exist. I simply sat there, took off my winter hat, and there was my Kippah. She finished her song on behalf of the Cranberries who wrote it for the Palestinian people of Ireland and everybody clapped. Cheers were heard throughout the streets of Buffalo. "What a piece. The Palestinians of Gaza should be allowed their Gd given right to behead toddlers and burn them with pride. It's their tradition and the Jewish people of Israel have the Chutzpah to try to stop it. Genocide!!! They're committing genocide. Why do the Israelis have an issue with Hamas using their own children in a war? They're their children. Should not all soldiers be protected by their children???" And the story somehow turned real. That last line was good. You felt that. They Were Offended Taking to the cheers and claps she looked to the side and saw me sitting there, with my Kippah. My presence offended all. I killed the brilliant rendition of the Cranberries. No. It was my Kippah. My Kippah was screaming at them and they were offended. The Kippah. That Chutzpan. Open mic girl's hatred for me was felt. I went to the bathroom and as I came back, with my Kippah still on my head, her friends went to check on her. They saw my Kippah and they were bothered that nobody knocked it off. Her and all of her friends were having talks about me. "Did he approach you?" They wanted to know if I hit on her. Another act of genocide. She responded, "No. But his Yarmulke did. And his Yarmilke had a whole lot to say. Perched there, arguing with me. The audacity of the Yarmulke. It even said that his people only want peace and to protect the innocent lives. His Yarmulke told me the Israeli army even knocks on doors and tries to protect the non-terrorist Palestinians who want to kill his people, by letting them know they have to attack the area. Chutzpah. Knocking on doors." Before I got up for my piece she asked the MC, "Is he going up." And then she ran out with her friends. Crying. "How can they let a Jew sing?! This is America. I thought this was the land of freedom and acceptance. I hate this country." She was offended by my Kippah. She saw my Kippah and she couldn't argue against it. My Kippah made the bar a not safe space. The presence of the Yarmulke made the bar non-inclusive. I was thus quarantined to sit at the bar alone. They almost kicked me out, as my Kippah was arguing too much, and very loudly. Quite disruptive. Thank Gd, they didn't kick me out. They were going to kick out my Kippah, but my Kippah didn't break any rules. It just said that Jews are a good, kind and caring people, that hate having to go to war and defend against terror. Kippahs can be very loud. Especially, the Bucharian ones. My Performance When they all left, I asked her friend with the Kafeya, "Is it because I'm Jewish?... You don't have to leave because I'm Jewish. I know we can't dance." He smiled. I didn't know where he stood, as he was wearing his Kafeya on his shoulders. I didn't know if that was an American tradition or or an Arab tradition. It seems like most American college students wear Kafeyas on their shoulders. A style thing. I know it's not an Arab tradition to wear the Kafeya on the head. Maybe it's a Middle Eastern tradition to wear the Kafeya as a shawl when the weather gets really cold in Ireland. That's probably where it started. I was amazed at the protest against me and my people in a small bar in Buffalo, New York. But I wore that Kippah with pride and sung some songs about people getting along. "Sing along, even if you're Christian. Be happy that you come from a Jew. Because Gd might love you too. Because you come from a Jew. Sing along, even if you're Muslim. Be happy that you believe in one Gd too. Because Gd might love you too. If you know a Jew..." Peace was the message, and the few sitting there turned into lovers of all. Not lovers of terrorists. Lovers of people. Gd might love them too now. And they all sung and clapped for me. Everybody except for the Zombie and her friends. They were outside crying that Jews are allowed to sing. In solidarity of all humans, they wanted the Jew out. She wanted to get rid of the Israeli. In her defense, I was occupying a seat at the bar. Notes When I got back from the bathroom, I didn't drink my Diet Coke. I am aware of what story time can do to your drink when you're wearing a Kippah. I did introduce my songs of peace with, "I will not create any new definitions of genocide. Nor will I talk about genocide. Such as the Armenian genocide, perpetrated by the Young Turks." I am guessing she got her story from story time with Cenk Uygur of The Young Turks. I had one of those moments of political brilliance and little knowledge. You can share that with your friends. Postscript About the Kippah The Kippah is a real buzz killer. There was somebody sitting there with a Yarmulke, killing the performance. It bothered them so much that, because of Israel, they couldn't defile him and burn him at a bar in Buffalo. If the bouncer was doing his job, he would've kicked out the Kippah. Yarmulkes are loud. They yell, “I am still here.” And that is offensive to anti-Semites. Now I know why I wear a Kippah. And that is to piss people off. Tags:
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The kids were very loud, so their parents had them play Mom’s the Word. You get it? Mum’s the Word. But mom wants silence. So, it’s Mom’s the Word. A game of silence, where Mom’s the only one who can talk. Moms love the game, and it makes Moms happy. 
Ima- a) A person who does everything for you. These people clean, wash your clothes, cook, listen to your complaints. Then, you get married and complain about them visiting. See Shviger for how you offensively refer to people who love you.
b) The lyrics to every Mizrachi song. Full Lyrics to Mizrachi Song: “Ima. Ani Ohev Otach. Ima.” 
Show was amazing... Looking forward to sharing laughs with your community. Shoot an email to [email protected] to bring David out for laughs and song.
People always ask, “Is Mother’s Day Asur?” There is drinking, gambling, and doing something kind for your parents. You should stay away from all of them.
Many rabbis say that every day is Mother’s Day. So, treat the day like every other day and honor your mother by doing nothing for her. As a rabbi, I will say Mother’s Day is forbidden. It feels more religious to say it’s Asur, and to do nothing for your parents. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
8/17/2025
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